c h r i s t i n a`

PO PO

2008-10-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

"po po" i muttered, while looking into the coffin.
"i miss po po" i turned to my sister with tears almost blurring my vision.
my heart hurt, but all i could do was stand there and look into the lifeless body laying in there.

i started to reminisce the times when i shared the same room as popo, climbed up on her stomach to sleep when i felt scared and insecured, how much i cried and whined when she wasn't there, popo teaching me how to sing folk songs from china and most unforgettably, patting me to sleep with her ever so patient nature.

i remembered how she looked, always smiling at me with so much tenderness in her eyes and the gentleness in her hands.

popo loved cooking. she used to cook the best tasting food on earth.
popo also loved haw flakes, she enjoyed buying them for her grandchildren and the contented looks on their faces.
sewing was her favourite past time. popo sewed pillow cases and bolster cases for all of us. that is why, pinky is so important to me. pinky is a pink pillow case i had with me since 4- popo sewed pinky for me.

then i thought about how selfish i was.

when popo was still around, everytime there was a chance to visit her, i would give excuses- "i'm busy" "im tired" "i made plans for the afternoon"
i didn't give much of my time to popo and i visited her quite seldom. everything was always about me and not others.
now, there isn't a chance at all for me to see her smiles, talk to her and hold her hands.
when i saw popo laying there all i wanted to say was, "popo, im really sorry"
but does it matter? popo cant hear me anymore.

but i was contented enough to hear that popo is safe, up there with Daddy God.

and i'm sure popo doesn't want to see us cry, popo loves smiles on people's faces.

she was the best grandmother anyone could have ever had.

RIP popo,
i love you.

good things always comes to an end.

2008-10-18T00:50:00.000-07:00

good things always comes to an end, no?

all the shoppings and outs with my loves, dinings at not so budget jap restaurant, working a same part time job with bestie and late night catch ups with pizza and a bowl of over starchy 2 dollar shark's fin (not) soup, i love the company and not to forget every other absurd events, everything now has to come to a close.
though thankful enough our school reopens one to two weeks after every other schools, but not so thankful because no one enjoys the company of books and a grouchy lecturer in the mornings. no wait......... actually not only in the mornings but for the whole fucking day.

2 days away from school and zero rest . im going back to work in an hour's time.

eventhough working for extra pocket money ate up almost half of my holidays, i still enjoy every moment of it. BRING BACK THE HOLIDAYS PLEASE .

Fo' longgg

2008-10-01T10:41:00.000-07:00

Ubf!!! I miss cha so muchh k. Plzz c' to church soon. And see the little cornerrr done by your dad, v v v well done!!! (L) it. Tomorrow's my hist n's paper. Sighhh I'm so scaree I focus on the wrong topic. (I CAN DO IT).

I just got home from the airport, sent kenny soph and char offf. They left for cebu todayyy. I've been visiting the airport so often, 2 days back it was kennneth. K I reallyyy dont wanna shift to pasir ris and I'm so bored thats why I'm helping you to bloggg. I canttt gett to sleep actually. Got loadssa to tell you but I cant tell you over here 'cause its not v v safe?

I miss you so muchhhhh *.* I shalll try to c' for youth this sat - Im shifting house you seeee. Plzzz take good care of yourself, dont just bother bout earning moneyyy k. I've all the cashhh you neeeddd, don't stress yourself over em. Just lemmme know and I'll write you a chequee in my malibuu barbie sharpay cheque book. Hahhaa. K I've got a joke to tell you too. WILL TELL YOU OVER DINNER OR LUNCH. HAHHAA ITS SO FUNNNY.

K think thats long enough to help you upd8 alreadyyy. You can help me upd8 too if you wantttt c: The email is nylraep_gnoel@hotmail.com and the passworrdd yyou can guesss it. Text me if you want it. I love chuu xoxo. Hang out soon k. Maybellynn's birthday justtt past. I cant wait to see you sex bitch, slut lover <333

/m\ for motivation, and you're the motivation I ever neeedddeddd.

Yessss so sweet of me, goodnight dearieeee. I love you. I'll cudddle you when I see you, gimme gimmmee that high 5.

Nooo waitttt I totallly agreee sept love wass a blastt k!!! We'll have more of that, fo' suree. I cant wait till another sleepover with you. You're suchaaa piggg huhh. Hhahaa. Sleep so early when we were doing the pretty (x190000000) walls. I can only imagineee, my annoying birddd flying around you. Goodnexzzz that was xoxo love. Plus all the videos and our mtv (L) it. The songs were v v enjoyable too. I miss those good o' times. Now N's are hereee. But its ending. 3 more papers. Everything will be over on the 8th. I'll be in pasir ris till then (Sighhh) so I can meet you for lunch or wtvv. DONT PANGSEHHH ME AHHH.

K and plzz dont brood over the sucky f1 job k. I'm sure God has His planss. YOU CAN DO IT. ALL THE WAYYY BABE.

Pearlyn (L) Christina ubf. I'm tcfy ultim8 bestfrs foreverrrr.

2008-09-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

just when i thought i could stay at home and rot the rest of my holidays away, Pasta Fresca Manager called and i was supposed to go to work today.

EDIT

i'm working tml, feel so lazy! but the only thing that's encouraging me is the company's incentive! hehe

F1 event

worked for the f1 event, another screwed up job. was promised something but was told to do another.

First, we were told we'll be working 12pm-12am for f1. Instead, we worked 6pm-2am for Conrad Hotel.

after we were told to work from 6pm-2am, the manager of the hotel let us off 3-4 hours later, what do we earn then?

Then we were told we will be serving people, e.g- banquet or drinks server. Instead we were given another shitty job setting up tables, going down to the carpark to spray paint on plants and perspire our heads off.

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THE WORLD, SERIOUSLY

however, with screwed up superiors, sound of race cars that can nearly make u go deaf, these days have been really good since me and laosai have been doing alot of catching up thru working together (: COOLIO.

and i discovered how cute walt's 2 hammies are!

COKE

THE CUTEST COTTON BALL ON EARTH- SPRITE!

i love the holidays (:

taking walks in the park, talking and laughing together, even simple things like having our meals together, just love the time spent together (; LOVE YOU CHERRY TWIG.

2008-09-16T05:24:00.000-07:00

do you know ? :

how it feels like when you tried but was not appreciated

how is it like when what felt like fun together was just a temporary high

what it is like when "sorry" is a too simple word to say

what it feels like when talk is cheap

how it feels when your best friend turns his back on you

do you know how it feels like?
.
.
.
nope, i dont anymore.

because the more things seem to change, the more they stay the same.

.............................................

They say,

"you can't always have the best of both worlds." so...

although the Good news is,

the holidays are underway and i've enjoyed myself quite a fair bit.

September love :

was a blast, stayed over in church at night for last minute rehearsals and stuff, having silly moments with pearlyn leong ubf and all . On the actual day the next day, quite a number came and the whole event was a success. videos, mime, band and all. with pearlyn and her annoying bird during the hand mime flying around me, telling me to put the wrong actions during the full dress rehearsals, lol. ahh, the feeling of satisfaction. what's this fun i feel i'm missing right now?

what's more? suntanning, beach volleyballing at sentosa with sweetness and the others (:

and an even greater news?
i passed my examinations! surprise surprise!

very very sadly however, i was also busied with finding high and low for a decent job to get employed to. so, "what you wish is what you get",

i don't get to enjoy every single day of my holidays anymore.
i've been kicked to siglap, working as a waitress for Pasta Fresca. i know i know, "Christina and waitress dont go together" they say. BUT I'M TRYING MY BEST OKAY?

if not for the torn pockets the pretty dresses and the hungry tummies, i wouldn't even think about leaving my humble abode ):

students read books
doctors examine bodies
waitresses studies the menu, and and that's exactly what i HAVE TO do right now.

TILL AGAIN!

2008-07-28T03:38:00.000-07:00

they say :

only after you are about to lose or after you already have lost someone then it would hit you hard on the head and pierce you in the heart.

only then, it causes you to think, why didn't i cherish her? why didn't i do enough for him? silly, huh? sometimes it makes me wonder, why do we choose to be like that since we have all rights to act, think, speak, with full freedom? given hands, brains and mouth that we own, have we not enough freedom to love, freedom to care, freedom to cherish, freedom to show compassion?

.

ubf was admitted to the hospital yesterday, shock the guts out of everybody.

i heard last night from my brother, a question she asked. she said, "if i were to die, i wonder who would cry for me?" pearlyn leong let me answer your question, if you were to go, everyone would be devastated. your energy, your comfort, you, cheering people on when they're tired, your laughters, everything. they make people smile. =) you are important to every single one of us ;) no kidding aye! Thank God for his love and goodness, im really happy you're fine!

.
i am down to the deepest and i feel out of this world.
why do things you really hate to see happen always have to come true.
why do we have to share and what rights have they to take?
why do we hate?
why do we worry?
why do we feel incompetent
and why do we like to hurt so much?
Go figure!

i'm not a least bit happy about it.

still, forever God is faithful . He's my source of comfort and strength.

SO WHAT'S MAKING ME SO ANGRY THIS WHOLE WEEK?

2008-06-27T01:49:00.000-07:00

Firstly, due this tuesday was my EPT which also means "Electronic Prototyping" homework. Asking us to find things that :

Have not been taught before

Have not been given a brief explanation of and lastly,

There wasn't any information about our research!

i was already working into my sleeping time and what i saw further agitated me :

this was a question someone, most probably a TP student researching for the same thing i need to research for (that's was why i landed up on this page) but to no avail so he/she had to look for answers from yahoo answers which is supposedly helpful

HOWEVER, THIS WAS WHAT I FOUND :

not giving us any idea maybe a little clue about what this "DUAL INPUT DC POWER SUPPLY +15 and -15 outputs with less than 15 components" work, maybe explaining a little would help, THAN MAKING US COMPLETELY CLUELESS OH, that's not all. they even asked us to write how this thing operates in OUR OWN WORDS. as if it was not enough, this i am guessing, TP lecturer further agitated us students by typing his/her insensitive, useless phrase of words. WHICH REALLY MADE ME BURNING HOT ON THE HIGHEST TEMPERATURE EVEN THE BEST THERMOMETER ON EARTH WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND. the lecturer could even presume that was a TP STUDENT! why??? because apparently, there were almost no clues at all about what we were supposed to research on.

ANNOYANCE LVL AT IT'S HIGHEST!

not only that, i went to another forum website and a supposedly TP student asked the exact same question that was on the sheet of homework. He/she said "i couldn't find any information on the net so i really need help in this" the reply was asking about what exactly is this work about or smth but this student replied "i dont know, the teacher didn't even explain to us what to do."

so were we supposed to finish the homework on time, maybe get the right information for the research? i guess many students, including me gave close to, however, wrong information about the research. well, at least i tried.

my mum bought for my brother his personal bass guitar, my sister, her personal keyboard and me, my personal acoustic guitar. though it was a blessing, it has been really affecting my sleep. having not enough sleep already at night, every afternoon while i take my naps after school, my brother just had to play his bass so loudly disrupting my sleep every afternoon. and today, my sister, brother, and friend played them all together. SIGH how was i supposed to sleep!??!?!

ALRIGHT ENOUGH OF COMPLAINING.

Dear God, please give me peace when i am sleeping and help me thank the lecturers in the school instead of cursing them and thank God for everything he has given me instead of always complaining. AMEN.

this road may be long, sometimes rough . we'll hold hands and walk, till we reach the finish line.

2008-06-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

*blows dust away* i bet people have already stopped coming to my blog haha! alright pearl leong, thanks for helping me blog these few days, i shall take it from here! ILY please ubf (ultimate best friend) it's our lingo yo !

since the last time i blogged, was *counts* i dont know, 2 months ago? many things happened in my life for the past 2 months. School's started, made new friends, new bffs, lost new friends , failed quizzes and such, but one thing that will always stay with me, is my lovable boyfr :)

please ask me why i am so free to even do this! of course it's the holidays now. have really been enjoying this holiday with bffs and walt. movies, picnic, blading, swimming. WHAT MORE CAN I ASK FOR THAN ALL MY LOVING PEOPLE. REALLY, WHAT MORE CAN I ASK FOR.

well there are many things in my mind right now. personal problems, worries for the future, getting closer to God as well as walt's coming back to Him , i won't be able to tackle all of this problems by myself, so i am going to cast all my cares upon God and let Him lead the way. In Him i'll trust, forever and ever.

Tomorrow! Hallelujah :)

2008-06-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

Outing tomorrow with ubfs. I'm gna help you to blog daily till Skool reopens. Till then, no time for this already :/ Hahaha.

Checklist:
Sarah- mee goreng
Christina- sandwiches
Pearlyn- Chips
Matt- Drinks

Its so woebegone-ish, HAHAHA(!) Carina can't make it. Dang :@ Oh wells, I can't wiat dear. Luge, Images of S'pore, Monorail, waiting for us. Hallelujah.
See you tomoorow.

Btw, you know my gramps trying to be funny.
S.Leong: Woooaahh Kong, now you not selfish eh, sharing with everyone your chips.
Gramps: I'm never selfish. I am selfprawn.

STUPID RIGHT!HAHAHA. LOL.

2008-06-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

Yoxxzzz Ubf! (L)

Hello Christina. Limbo Rock with you = F.U.N.
More taking pictures sesssion to come!

Pretty girl! I love all your dresses :)
I thank God for you!
Ultimate Bestfr Forever! (L)

Yoxxxzzzz Christina Chan Rui Fang. Thanks for being the ultimate best fr. (ubf for short!) You're a-w-e-s-o-m-e. Sorry for the times when I give you shit k! More phototaking session, thats for sure. Hangouts after service cause those times spells fun :)

See you really soon! 8) Tue set not!

Let's bake together really soon! So random I know but I can predict I'll have fantabulous time at your place whipping up such delicious dirty awesome smelling cookies! Brownies or cookies- anything!

Swimming roller blading anything outdoor together soon too! By this week cause once skool starts = you can forget about dating me or me dating you! I'll reach home really l8. We'll hardly hve time to talk on weekdays. I know you're damn sad but WHAT TO DO RIGHT.

Goodnez, I realize like how random I am. Dang :@ Shoot me! Things are happening too quickly you see! Don't miss me dear! You'll see me uh soon. Xoxo.

See ya. X

2008-04-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

no school orientations for me, only work, work and more work. i don't care about making new friends because i have lao sai in the same school as me WOOT, but i'm just worried about new school time tables and my matrix card, that i'm not allowed to receive them since i won't be at school's orientation.

however, above all, working for moolahs is much better than shitty school orientation camps. especially camps when you know not one person around , it's a total kill-me-please situation.

that said, i'm working, like what they always say, "sai kang 8-5 jobs" which is horribly sai kang-ish, really. what's worst, tomorrow i'm working from 9 to 9 , not really 8 to 5 jobs actually, but all i know, it's totally draining.
alright, enough of the complains, at least i get decent amounts of pay ! and that's really the joy of working lol

but what's totally GG is i've with working with my horribly annoying elder brother lol. he controls the amount of money i take from my mum, he pisses me off at work, and what's more, because he likes to go home straight after work, i'll have to do the same . HOW ANNOYING . TSK
. . . if not for the torn pockets/hungry tummies, SIGH.

2008-03-31T03:10:00.000-07:00

FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY CARINA SIM HUI JUAN. i hope you see this ! shows how much i care. HAHA. alright, although i used to be sucha bitch to you sometimes, but you know i dont really meant it ! i still love you as much as how i love pearlyn HAHA.

alright, i dont know why is this happening, but the clock is still taking it's time to tick away. as slow as ever. accompanied by the sound of the my mum's paper shredder is making me feel worst. i'm feeling annoyed out of nowhere. but i still love my mummy. well, obviously. she's now my second diary after my sister. because right now, i can talk to her about almost anything under the sun, complain about anyone i'm not happy with and tell her about most of my problems. I LOVE MY MUM, LOVELOVELOVE HER.

mum told me to bring Walt to our church, but, he said he wouldn't feel comfortable "then there'd be like eyes staring at me " wow baby. lol
but he goes to his own church anyway, and that's what's most important yea? =)
(only that he doesn't go to church THAT often) *rolls eyes* cause he's a busy NS man. yes, yes, i understand okay! =)

alright, enough of the mushy stuff, what's making me happy now, is for 4 days, i can finally, shift my butt out of the house and do some real work. and stop rotting to death on the bed and grow fat. and, obviously wait for time to tick away, and at the very least earn some money of my own, so i do not have to suck sweat and blood off my mum. no more of the "mum, i'll need $10, thanks!" (for now at least) all thanks to charmian ! =) I AM HAPPYYYYYYYYYYY.!

he takes me to another world, not "a world where princesses eat rainbows and poop butterflies." lol but somewhere i can find confidence and trust, and well, bliss. <3

2008-03-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

yes, yes i know the picture is going to be link-less to what i am going to be blogging about now, but this is prove to show how alive and kicking and well, fat, uhem i have been during this holidays. OF COURSE FAT LAH, stay at home everyday rot and eat, rot and eat. if you were me, you'd also be fat WHAT. lol

okay, but seriously, i learnt from pearlyn that blogging with picture(s) will make your post look more interesting. In my case, i'll have to add a "maybe" instead of a "will"

but seriously, the MOST link-less thing I realised is, Easter with Easter Bunnies and Easter Eggs. All i know is that Easter marks the resurrection of Jesus three days after his crucifixion . but the bible didn't say anything about easter bunnies or easter eggs. maybe there is a reason . but i am completely clueless about this. so, i asked Als about it. although his answer was partly link-less another part of his answer made sense .

c h r i s t i n a ` built to last <3 says:
PLEASE TELL ME SOMETHING
what is the link with easter
and easter bunnies and eggs?

Als says:
yess?
=)

c h r i s t i n a ` built to last <3 says:
if there is lol
OR IS IT COMPLETELY LINKLESS?

Als says:
linkless.
because the rabbit was like.. fluffy? and so it made to sell lots of merchandise

Als says:
amazing huh?
they did eggs too

Als says:
because they thought that eggs were like supposed to symbolise new birth? like Jesus' ressurection? but then if they sell like a baby Jesus doll it wouldn't catch on? so they decided to use eggs instead to symbolise so they can like at least make chocolate ones to eat and sell

Als says:
it's just another way to like jack up process for every day objects and sell them to poor fools

yup, so to conclude, Easter with Easter bunnies is totally link-less but there might be some link with the eggs. IDK. okay fine, maybe i should busy myself with better things. but it's quite interesting, no?

i'd like to sum this post up by saying I MISS MY BABY. thank you.
i happy. i'm happy because i've finally found someone who truly sincerely cares about me. and even if it may get tough. we'll never give it up. cause we know, especially i know, this is something too special to give up. somthing too important.
"baby, what's 2 years when we have so much more ahead of us right?"

"what doesnt kill us, makes us stronger."

yea, i agree with that =)

2008-03-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

okay, i am SOooOoo NOT use to this yet .

yesterday, while in the process of whining non stop. and ridiculous talks like, telling Walt not to go back to camp, he showed me this guide he got from the camp and in it wrote "i miss my girlfriend" and they teach them how to get over it. lol
of course there is the " i miss my family" and the " i miss my friends" guide too . all in that book.
HOW COOL RIGHT. why don't i get a guide like that too. cause i think i'm really in need of one lol. i'm such a terrible person.
BUT THIS FEELING IS HORRIBLE OKAY.

but then again, everytime i think about what he constantly reminds me, i start to feel this load getting lighter and lighter each day. soon we'll all, especially me, get used to it. :) IM POSITIVE OF THIS.

My Love Language.

2008-03-14T01:03:00.000-07:00

Walt's coming back from camp today, IM LIKE SOOOOO EXCITED TO SEE HIM PLEASE. okay, sorry lol. anddddd we're going to have sushi for dinner tonight! yayy ima REAAAALLY happy girl today .AND AS I'M TYPING THIS, I'M GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR . after 4 stormy days and nights =( hah.

Well, we'll all have to get used to it yea? i'd just spend as much time i have with him when i have the chance to ! anyway, it wouldn't be so bad after 3 months RIGHT!

so while waiting for his call, i decided to kill some time.

i chanced upon this webpage and i found out my love languages. not that i didn't know what my love languages were, just wasn't exactly sure about them ! SO FINALLY.

Click HERE if you wanna find out yours too!

Scores & Love Languages

6- Words of Affirmation

11- Quality Time

1- Receiving Gifts

7- Acts of Service

5- Physical Touch

How to interpret your Profile Score:

Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary lovelanguage. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of yourprimary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important toyou. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.The highest possible score for any language is 12.

Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior Think backover the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answerwill lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meetyour deepest need for emotional love.

INTERESTING AYE? ;)

2008-03-07T00:42:00.000-08:00

it's wednesday! I'm anticipating MEGGGGGA MUCH for later in the evening . Walt is coming HOMEEEEEE . YES i know i sound SUPER BIMBOTIC counting down the days. BUT YOU WON'T KNOW THE PAINS HAHAHAHAHA.

"alright i'm going to just sleep my life away and be a loser for 3 days" lol. silly, silly me.
it's the little, little things you do to make me happy.
wannaknowwhyimsoinlove?
he's the brightest sunshine i've ever seen.

"and you make me the happiest guy in the world"

tooblessedtobearoundyou :)

2008-02-22T21:52:00.000-08:00

Counting down to 11th march, it's only 17 days .
Minus the BIG DAY itself, technically, it will only be 16 days left till Walt is kept in this prison every male in Singapore goes to at a certain point of their lives. for well, a good, long 2 YEARS. In better terms, he's going to serve the country in 16 more days.
As if whining would be of any help.

But i know he'll be fine there. that's what's most important. =)

OF COURSE HE'LL BE FINE ! MY BOY'S 20 NOW!

baby, i'll pray for your well being everyday.

2008-02-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

FIRST AND FOREMOST :
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL MY LOVED ONES!

the day was spent with both the smelly zoo, as well as my ~~smelly~~ boyfriend. Sight seeing, baboon's ass watching - the colourful and non colourful ones, and observing the lengths of monkey's penises. OOPS.

A pity we missed the polar bears and tigers . SO MANY ANIMALS TO WATCH SO LITTLE TIME. the zoo closed even before we could finish watching the animals. BLAME THE HUNGRY TUMMIES.

alright, enough of the talking. let the pictures play their part ! I LOVE THE ZOO! and especially my boyfriend <3

2008-01-27T07:48:00.000-08:00

i thank God for the joy inside of me, i thank God for the people who love me. i thank God for giving me what i need and MOST IMPORTANTLY, i thank God for the peace in my heart. WANNA KNOW WHY?

IT'S BECAUSE EVERYTHING RELATED TO THE USELESS, BIG, FAT UGLY "O"s ARE BISCUITS NOW! like totally~

obviously there's still the JAE to worry about, but i know God has plans for me. PLANS TO PROSPER ME AND NOT TO HARM ME =)

i'd like to thank God for loving me, finding me, forgiving me, guiding me, i like to thank God for everything he's given me, i ' d like the thank God for making me happy, i'd like to thank God, for God. but Lord, please draw me closer to you. ,light the fire again

Light the Fire Again
(Brian Doerksen)

Don’t let my love grow cold
I’m calling out
Light the fire again
Don’t let my vision die
I’m calling out
Light the fire again

You know my heart, my deeds
I’m calling out
Light the fire again
I need your discipline
I’m calling out
Light the fire again

I am here to buy gold
Refined in the fire
Naked and poor
Wretched and blind I come
Clothe me in white
So I won’t be ashamed
Lord, light the fire again

2008-01-07T14:30:00.000-08:00

BABY I'M ALL YOURS.

i'm all smiles today. and will be tomorrow and the day after, and i hope i don't stop. <3

2007-12-28T22:35:00.000-08:00

He's a one stop shop, he's a sweet talking sugar coated candy man

I MAY BE THREE DAYS LATE, but it's still Christmas! haven't you heard of the song "on the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me~~~.." goes all the way until 12th day or something like that. SO MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! YOU IS ALL LOVED. as quoted from marcus .

Not much prezzies this year. but i'm contented enough to receive a huge tigger from boy. *wink wink* oh yes, and the gift of growing up ! I'M ONE YEAR OLDER NOW =) THIS YEAR'S END TOTALLY ROCKED MY SOCKS ! IMA HAPPY GIRL!

hope next year's going to be more exciting and the year after next and keeps getting more and more exciting and doesn't stop!

ALRIGHT! IT'S THE 28TH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED =) remember the thing we told you yesterday? strive for it AYE! YOU IS LOVED BY ALL OF US!

2007-12-17T03:40:00.000-08:00

Youth camp was AWESOME the only thing that spoilt the fun was my fear of darkness xD SADDDD, reaally. well, what's more important is that i've become wiser with my decisions after the 4 days of camp. AND THAT MAKES ME REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF *gleaming with pride*

uh, well, though i was being very half bimbotic by bringing along with me 3 pillows, a bolster and my spongy toy. and although my clothes only took up two zip lock bags, i had to drag with me, 3 enormous bags. BUT i think it was quite wise of me WHAT because i was the only one camping in comforts ;) heh.

loved the moments at nights with pearlyn with loads of laughter and getting scolded together! and sherryn and nana dears were so sweet to sleep beside me when everyone else wanted to sleep in the staircase room OH MY GAWD. loved the camp eventhough the place was extreeeeeeeeeemely filty.

what's most annoying but funny was JO trying to wake the girls up everymorning. by struming on the guitar from downstairs singing "it's early in the morningggggggg, it's time to wake uppppppppppp" and when no one responded to him he shouted again from downstairs "GIRLS IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, PLEASE GIVE ME A SIGN THAT YOU'RE AWAKE" in a reaaally annoying tone. but i think at least, at last, we've found a talent in him huh!- to know how to compose songs in a moment of a jiffy.

WELL PEOPLE, LETS JUMP FOR JOY ALRIGHT! TML'S PAYDAY. YAYYYYYY!

= boy, you're the sweetest pea!

2007-12-04T05:39:00.000-08:00

and the holidays didn't want to turn out as i nad dreamily drafted all the plans in my head during the o lvl's period. well done Christina, well done! Well, i intended to

X head to Marche

X get to Sentosa till late at night.

X Shoppppppppppping

X Visit the Night Safari at least. (i dont even know when was the last time i stepped in there OR

RATHER, have i ever been there?)

X get a job with shifts from afternoon to evening

√ catch up with laosai-kins.

AND APPARENTLY, i have only fufilled 1 out of 6. HOW CLEVER. i should have better used the time studying properly rather than haboring such delusive thoughts.

WELL, i don't exactly know when school's going to start next year, or rather, i don't know if i can even be able to make it to the next level BUT o level results releases late january. AND THE EVENT I AM WORKING FOR DOES NOT END UNTIL JAN. how comforting, i won't have the time to fufill my overly ambitious (maybe?) wishes during the holidays.

Alright, forget about that, i'm anticipating something for my birthday from mom *hint hint*ALL

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. IS SIMPLY TO BE SMARTER. thank you.

2007-11-28T04:35:00.000-08:00

watched the enchanted the day before with my sis. REALLY NICE SHOW LA OKAY! please please go watch it! =)

haven't been sleeping much of late, have really been exhausted by the tight shedules of work everyday. but when i start thinking of the reason i'm working for, i put off the idea of being exhausted, anyway- my new phoneeeeeeeeeee! =) anyway, tomorrow's going to be an off day for me! OH, AND PLEASE DO TAKE CARE OVER AT PHILIPINES TWIN! I WILL MAKE AI XIN CAN FOR YOU ONCE YOU COME BACK LOL.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAVERN ON THE 27TH! SORRY I DIDNT WISH! :/

i have a heart. full of love, yet full of confusion.

2007-11-23T21:09:00.000-08:00

through ups and down, thick and thin over mountains and through the seas, girlfriend, i love you best!

it started on the 15th of nov, work is a real killer. You know, you get F-ed UP customers at times, speaking like you owe them a whole world worth of living. However, Australians are the friendliest of all customers you can get. I'd be the most active when i get Aussie customers =) made new friends like Marcus, Jacqueline and FIONA, my tweenie! Marcus, my lunch partnet, Jacqueline, my choose-an-ex-to-bitch-about partner and FIONA my tweenie with the same birthday as me. Although i met Shirin the coolest and most retarded manager on earth HAHA "want to message dont message on the top of the counter la! message below ma!" and michelle, the damn generous manager HAHA. after meeting this nice peeps, working isn't much of a killer after all =)

I love Pearlyn <3!*(:

2007-11-14T08:24:00.000-08:00

Hello world, my name is Pearlyn Leong Meng Zhen♥. I've nothing to do so I thought I should be nice and help girlfr get her blog working regulary again!

Alright, first and foremost. Thanks Bfffffffffff for the past few days. I love you worhxxxzzzzzz. You're da bomb, sexxxxxxxx (nahh, not really). We must take more more more more pictures this Sat or sthg ok? I've duty- do you? Stay back if you don't ok! And see my fantabulous face!

Oh my, you know what? Like seriously, thanks thanks thanks alotttttt! Without you, I wont know how swollen my eyes will be today :/ Ahhhhh, Kenneth is love <33333 but rah, I can't take it! He's attached ok :@ :@ What the hell right? To some St.Theresa's Convant girl ): I hope I'll meet her at Tiong Bahru Plaza since I work one fcking stop away from STC only. I wanna see how she looks like (((((((: She's my classmate's cousin pls! :@ :@

Oh yes, you're like working tomorrow :/ No more outings! You kuku bff! You should not work and you should not get your handphone! You should like spend more time with me <333 It'll be love <333! I'm da sexxxxx :)))) HAHAHA.

Remember to keep 8 Dec free ok? There's like ARISE! Concert 2008 :))) And I'm performing, so you should go! (Okay, not exactly performing, ministering to the audience!) Go ok? And bring me flowers- I want daisiessssss. I'm like using your blog to publicise this event too! Oh yeah, do come, its a freeeee event, so you should come and get ministered by little children <333
And also, 19 Jan 2008! Cause my School is having a FashShow Event. Organised by the two Sec3 Normal Classes so its a grand thing cause wwooooooaaaahhhhhh, once in a life time they're offering such cool thing to Normal Girls. Express is usually given the benefit :/ It's 20sthg per ticket for outsiders and $15 for IJ girls but the thing is if all of you wanna go, its considered as outsiders :/ (unfortunately)
Rahhhh, I wont be modelling cause I didnt turn up for the auditions :/ But I'll be dancing and singing so go hear my beautiful voice and watch me dance yo! HAHAHA.

I love you Christina Chan Rui Fang and I know that you love me too!
Ps: I love your uniform truckloads.

2007-11-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'VE GOT MY KEDS LA. LIKE FINALLY. BUT

I SAW THIS ONLINE AND THEN I HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART =(

ANYWAY, THE BIG HUGE 'O's ARE FINALLY OVER. AND HOLIDAYS HAVE ARRIVED. the only sad thing is that "money dont drop from the sky" so, im going to have to start work next week. pretty sad huh. and the most heartbreaking news, working for an events company, the intended uniform has a santa's hat in it! THANK GOD I'LL BE WORKING IN THE TRANSIT AREA. maybe because we have people like them in the world, there we have the source of christmas spirit.

OUT TML WITH BIM. IT'S BEEN AGES =)

- i like you, alot. and i still rmb how it feels in your arms.

2007-11-03T22:55:00.000-07:00

OH, AND I LOVE MANDY MOORE TOO. NOT ONLY BECAUSE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

I try but I cant seem to get myself
To think of anything
But you
Your breath on my face
Your warm gentle kiss I taste the truth
I taste the truth

We know what I came here for
So I won`t ask for more

I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There`s nothing more to say
There`s nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you (yeah)

So I`ll hold you tonite
Like I would if you were mine
to hold forever more
And I`ll saver each touch that I wanted
So much to feel before (to feel before)
How beautiful it is
Just to be like this

I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There`s nothing more to say
There`s nothing else I want more than to feel this way
(I wanna be) I wanna be with you

Oh baby
I can`t fight this feeling anymore
It drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name
Take my hand
Make my wish
Baby, your command?

Yeahhh
I wanna be with you
There`s nothing more to say
There`s nothing else I want more than to feel this way
(I wanna be)I wanna be with you (I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you (Yeahhh)
(I wanna be with you)I wanna be
I wanna be with you
(I wanna be)
(i wanna be)
(I wanna be with you) Yeahh
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be, I wanna be baby
I wanna be
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you yeah
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you

JUST BECAUSE SHE UNDERSTANDS ME TOO. HA ;)

2007-11-02T11:57:00.000-07:00

i love songs that are damn old school =)

Even though its been so long, my love for you keeps going strong

I remember the things that we used to do, a kiss in the rain

Til the sun shined through, Id try to deny it, but Im still in love with you

I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy, ever since you went away

Every hour of every day, I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy

No matter what I say or do, theres just no getting over you

I can see the love shining in your eyes, and it comes as such a sweet surprise

If seeings believing its worth the wait, so hold me and tell me its not too late

Were so good together, were starting forever now, and I miss you like crazy

I miss you like crazy, ever since you went away, every hour of every day

I miss you like crazy, I miss you baby, a love like ours will never end

Just touch me and were there again

Musical interlude

Just one night and well have that magic feeling like we used to do

Hold on tight and whatever comes our way were gonna make it through

If seeings believing its worth the wait, so hold me and tell me its not too late

Were so good together, were starting forever now

And I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy

No matter what I say or do theres just no getting over you

And I miss you (baby), I miss you (baby), all the tender love you gave me

When a feeling gets this strong, you know the real thing come along

And I miss you, I miss you like crazy baby, only youre sweet love

Can save me, I miss you like crazy, a love like ours will never end

Just touch me and were there again,

Miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy

because i think they understand me best ;)

2007-11-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

i'm so afraid, that there's too much to contain, i might just blow up.

i wish i could just be her but maybe i ain't that fortunate.
i could continue hoping and dreaming, but this really isn't funny anymore :/
I FEEL SO STUPID. maybe i should try to wake up someday, when what i fear most happens.

i want to feel it again :/

AND I THINK, I'M THE BIGGEST LOSER ON EARTH. THANK YOU. =(

2007-10-31T22:45:00.000-07:00

AND FINALLY! 4 MORE PAPERS TO FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I LOVE MY GF!

2007-10-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

stupid kids and a big headache. ever thought, that it doesn't pay to be a good mum? :/

MUMMY, I'M REALLY SORRY. i love you mum. =(

THERE'S REALLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. I GET NERVOUS AT NOTHING. or maybe at the thought of him. okay, i'm really such a loser.

2007-10-27T06:16:00.000-07:00

east coast, cosy bay, esplanade mount faber, malaysia's train station, and back again.
yesterday's night cycling was really exhausting but really fun. we cycled from east coast park all the way to the top of mount faber to have our mini bbq there and cycled all the way back. i nearly died.

i'm still very exhausted. :/

imy. R

2007-10-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

but everytime i think of you, my heartstrings tangle up.

i want a whole new world with you.

because i know i really do.

2007-10-23T01:46:00.000-07:00

someone kill me please, tml's the o lvl's but in still sitting infront of the computer checking out videos on youtube. anyway, this girl is bianca ryan, she has a most amazing voice i've ever heard from an 11 year old. I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO HER SINGING. SHE CAN EVEN SING A "HAHA" SO NICELY. MY GAWD!

2007-10-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

IT FELT SO YESTERDAY

i'm a happy girl

2007-10-21T02:23:00.000-07:00

bimboPEARL was burnt all over yesterday because she went for skating, including 2 blisters on her palms because nana pushed her down accidently HAHA. bimbo also had her brows done, my brother and I thought it was a little ah soh lor please bimbo. BUT SHE LIKES IT, CAUSE WHY? SHE'S A BIMBO =) well, i met bimbo in church after my visit to my nephew's first month. HE WAS SUPER CUTE AND FAT AND CHUBBY. daddy picked us up after our visit yesterday and sent us to church for worship practise. AND I THINK, it was the first time, my sister, brother and i played together on the same day! HAHA SO HAPPY

IT'S ME AND MY BROTHER KAY! I LIKE I LIKE! YAY! it's not everyday that i get to play with my brother, and also not everyday that i get to be insulted on how i play the guitar kay!

DEPP AND I ARE PLANNING TO GO FOR PHOTOSHOOT AFTER THE O LVLS BECAUSE SHE SAYS THAT HER WALLS NEEDS SOME FRAMED PICTURES! ehh LET'S NOT WASTE MONEY LA. I HELP U DRAW PHOTOFRAME KAY :P

alright it's time to hit the sack!

2007-10-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

i was on my way to sharry's house i stopped infront the gashapon machine because i saw CRYSTAL BABIES, the ones i saw at miao chan's blog. I used up my last $1 just to ka-ching! a bottle of these balls. because i wanna see how it really works xD. when i brought it up to sharry's house she was so amused and in the end i shared half of the number of the crystal babies i had with her. SO WE'RE LIKE GETTING MORE THIS WEEKEND! xD these babies can reproduce more of them! so interesting right!

my brother kept insisting that these are coloured germs because germs can grow and reproduce very quickly. HAHA yea right.

*sulks* and i thought night cycling was tonight but it's next weeeeeeeek! my dumb brother kept confusing me. FINE! now i cant go for night cycling afterall! because by next week, O lvls would have started. :/

my dearest sister is back at home! =DD LOVES!

2007-10-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

i had only ONE sensible answer in the whole chem practical paper and the rest, i wrote down the observations without doing the experiments. i was so stupidly desperate that i asked help from the invigilator. it was the first time i wanted the smell of ammonia. i needed at least some sign to help me move on to the next question. because all the questions, annoyingly, are joined. which means, you need the first experiment to continue on with the second and third.
i was so stupid, i think the invigilator laughed at me. im sure he'd go back to his school and tell the others how funny it was to have seen such a stupid girl. while everyone packed up with contented smiles on their faces, i stood there, embarassed, with tears streaming down my cheeks. it wasn't a normal practical practice, it wasn't the prelims instead, the O levels. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EMO ALL MY LIFE. =(
Mrs Low told me it was fine, because she told me not to think abt it anymore, she said it was only worth 7.5 marks. but seven marks is a grade worth of marks =((

i am a stupid girl =(

in my dream, your eyes and eveRything they were told me you're the most beautiFul thing on earth. but i dont need a dream to tell me You're beautiful. because i already know. i'm such a loser :/

2007-10-14T00:48:00.000-07:00

call it retarded or what, i just found out that they're really different sizes to lollipops.
Chupa Chups, Chupa Chups mini, and Chupa Chups nano. the name's nano okay! LIKE F CUTE. But can just get it when u buy 2 Chupa Chups leh! the 7-11 aunty was so sweet. i wanted the Chupa Chups nano watermelon and then she took the effort to find it for me in heaps of these lil things. but when she found it, like the wraper was torn so she opened another box and gave me a brand new one okay! damn sweet! now, my sister has the cocacola one and i have the watermelon one! i wanna collect all 14! =D omg, someone's going to hate me for sounding so bimbotic here xD sorry kay! lol

I'VE GOT THE MOST SWEETEST FRIENDS ON EARTH!
because my O levels are nearing the both of them, BIMBO PEARLYN and CARINA like wrote messages for me on such cute cards. totally my kai xin guo! bimbo pearlyn like used a pencil to neatly draw the pictures first before she outlined it with a pen, and it's the first time her handwriting's so neat la! HA and carina, like wrote the card for me the same day she took her history paper! the hand so suan already still help me write! THIS KINDA FRIENDS SO ZI DONG! WHERE TO FIND! they're probably the sweetest peas i've ever known in my entire life. i really thank God for them.

and yes BIMpearlBOlyn, i still remember the days we wore dresses together to church and compare who's nicer. your sis and you, my sis and me ALWAYS WORE THE SAME DRESSES! HA thank you so much honeys. <3

please dont say you're sorry.
i've used up whatever that's left of me, i've hoped countless times, more than my toes and fingers add together, and still i'm worn out from caring. you shaft me aside with your empty promises and coldness and sometimes, it feels as if the whole earth deserve a whole lot better than i do from you. i told you we were already drifting apart, still you paid no attention to what i said, like everything that came out from my mouth don't mean a thing to you. you knew better how it feels to be treated that way. yet you gathered up all your heartlessness and yes, and you've got yourself my already torn and weary heart. being away from you is equals to giving freedom to myself, i'm turning cold, and no, i'm never turning back.
simply, there's one thing that makes the world go round which i can never, get to leave my footprints on.

2007-10-08T06:16:00.000-07:00

i stepped out of my house, with a huge smile on my face. my world seemed surreal- today felt like a different day. with smiles from the past, and memories of great. happy was hell good. because it felt like winter.(although i don't really know how it feels but, sure feels like holidays are near!) Yes, winter with O levels around the corner. i dont know what it is, i dont know how, but that perfect strange feeling's in me right now. AND I'M LOVIN IT~

Francis was complaining about how ridiculously long i could study for. Well, you wanna know why? that's because you've been talking to me non-stop and i couldn't concentrate on my work. Thats why we had to stay for so long. See la! talk talk talk. HA

2 MORE WEEKS TO THE BIG OOOOOOOOOs! i miss freedom from book's calling for me. xD

I'M A STUPID GIRL.

2007-10-06T00:30:00.000-07:00

dearest laosai and i found a new way to cam whore, or in other words, communicate.
and i like finally know how to print screen! OK I KNOW THAT WAS RETARDED.

So lao sai bought her new laptop. and her lappy has web cam and mic! JUST LIKE MINE! she rang me up on msn and this is what happened.

first, we tied our hair up the same way. and we took our favourite toys (in my case, a bolster) because she started to do her stupid monkey dance again,

i miss spending time with her because everytime i'm around with her, i can simply be myself, she makes me smile, laugh and everything! as childish, as retarded, as unglamourous we'd do almost anything together. HAHA because she's my kai xin guo

BUT SHE CALLS ME A LOSER BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN GOING OUT WITH HER IN A LONG TIME.

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND

2007-10-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

mum brought my sister and I to Marche yesterday night for dinner.
LIKE DAMN NICE LA! the food. my sister and I were gorging ourselves and helping ourselves to almost all the food, as far as our hands could reach. definitely added on to the pounds. OOPS!
whatever, i'm going back there soon. :P

So Sharry and I are already drafting out our shopping time-table together. As well as our outing time-table. AND WE'RE WORKING TOGETHER TOO! Marche for dinner after work, Sentosa in the mornings, Fish and Co for increasing the kilos, Dashing Diva for being vain and great company through the holidays! CAN HARDLY WAIT! even my palms are all sweaty from excitement.*smiles bloody widely* but before that, let's get thru the O lvl's first!

neway, instead of a 30 for L1R4, i actually got a 28! it's still as bad actually, but 2 grades down is alot to boast about. HA O LVLS PLEASE END QUICK!

i'm a happy girl.

2007-09-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

Alright. i bet this is the most awaited result that some of you asked me about, i got a total of 30 points for L1R4 prelims, I could just die right now.
One more month to the freaky, big 'O's and please please please i need to pass.
My brain seems to have already gone faulty due to all the memorising
sometimes, when i do it so well, i totally forget everything the next day.
SOMEONE PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO LIKE MEMORISE THINGS AND NOT FORGET IT THE MORNING PLEASE. omg i'm such a ding a ling UHHH.

been talking to tiffany ALOT lately, missed the old times and YOU AS WELL! i love listening to her stories, her advice and everything because everytime she tells me something, i'll always come to realisation of somethings in my life. thanks so much tiffy <3>

hmm, talking about studies and everything, i hardly get to spend anytime with my boy. blog hopped to his blog a few mins ago and totally treasured the times together. but that said, i wish we aint so close so we could have a longer honeymood period lah.*whines*
i know it's being childish but it's not something that i can help feeeeeeling xD

STILL, rocking the world together, AHH I LOVE MY BOY. =D

2007-09-20T01:13:00.000-07:00

my heart feels so heavy

sigh SIGH

s
i
g
h

s
si
sig
sigh! :/

a way to relieve stress.

2007-09-13T04:48:00.000-07:00

tml's my ss paper and i can't stop thinking about the text in my book. sometimes, i wonder why i study so hard for ss and dont often pass it. i'm now left with a chapter and a half and i'm still wondering what i've been reading so far. MY O LVLS? I THINK I REALLY NEED TO STUDY HARD. NOW'S REALLY NOT THE TIME TO WHINE ANYMORE. still, i need to relieve some stress. the guys are now at Mr. Prata and they didn't call me along. bloody hell.

that place? it beings back good ol` memories. how we used to drink almond susu, eat maggi mee goreng and loads others. HAHA. sometimes, i hate to reminicse, because it's kinda a waste of time. spend 3 hours thinking back, only to find that you left so much more chapters to study. however, i wish i could be as happy as how i used to be. i want to rest my head on something real. stress, worries, upsets, misses, screw ups, crankyness. this is really bad.

we'll there's one thing that i can never resist and that is doing quizes. so here it is.!

50 questions to boggle the mind in
your past.

1. First off, what's your name?
Christina

2. Okay, but what does your best
friend/s call you?
NANA, Christina, honey, pangsai.

3. Have you ever kissed someone with
braces?
Nope. i want to try kissing pearlyn

4. Who is the fourth received call on
your call log?
Clifford.

5.If you could change your eye color
what would it be?
what's that colour again? TURQUOISE. ha

6. What is the wallpaper on your phone?
BLUE.

7. How many pillows on your bed?
5! =)

8. Who was the last text message you sent to?
Francis.

9. What color is your shirt right now?
White.

10. What was the best thing that
happened to you last year?
Romance.

11. nabura ni pilo ung #11
WTH? LOL

12. Who's the fourth person on your
contact list?
Aunty Rita

13. When was the last time you cried
from laughing so hard?
Eh i dont know how to cry when i laugh

14. What school did you attend in
elementary?
erm. PAP? or EPPS?

15.do you have a crusshh?
no.

16. Who was the last person that made
you laugh?
LAOSAI>

17. Do you like Quizes?
YA THATS WHY IM DOING IT

18. Who do you make fun of the most at
school?
No preferences lol.

19. What's the longest time you've ever
talked on the phone?
abtttttttt 6?

20. Do you think you've gotten
more handsome/pretty since grade
school?
do you think so?

21. Have you seen your bestfriend cry?
YEA BOTH sharry and laosaikins

23. Do you dance in the car?
please teach me how.

24. What do you think of hunting and
fishing?
nt my kind anmre.

25. Do you and your best friend act
alike?
DUH. especially with laosai. HAHA

26. What is a noise that you cannot
stand?
Nails sratching metal. I CAN DIE,

27. Does your mom vacuum early in the
morning, when you're sleeping?
NO

28. Are your parents in love?
DUH. they always gang up to try and kill me.

29: What does your 9th txt say?
tmr after paper go eat breakfast again?

30: Who sent it?
emo king.

31. Would you rather sleep at a
friend's or have them over?
sleep at a friend's.

32. When was the last time you wrote a
note, and to who?
like eons ago? to my boyyy

33.are you in love?
are you?.

34. who do you miss most?
LAOSAI.

35. What do you smell like right now?
DOVE?

36. Do you have a hard time admitting
you're wrong?
depends on the situation.

37. Who was the last person you held
hands with?
obvious much?

38. What shoes did you wear today?
sch shoes.

39. What makes you lose your appetite?
a broken relationship.

40. What colour is your laundry basket?
blue

41. Last person you kissed?
how about you?

43. Do you own any Levi pants/jeans?
yea

44. Do you think those stores are too
what?
what what?

45. How do you like your steak?
well cooked. and black pepper sauce please. lol

46. Who's in your house right now?
me and my maid.

47. Where did you get your last bruise
from?
my brother's stupid toolbox la!

48. Where did you last go out to eat?
ya kun

49. List three things that keeps you
i have no idea what keeps me going.

50. Is there someone you can't stop
thinking about?
DUH, a few ppl infact.

2007-09-10T04:20:00.000-07:00

exams are underway, and now, i finally realised how much more time i need to get down to real revision. tomorrow's going to be the worst day ever. it's math paper 1 for me. i've never passed any math examinations since the start of the year. i hope i do now, so that my mum do not have to go down to collect my repot card and see the number of times i was absent from school. God, please make me smart!

2007-09-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

i'm finally done with 2 chapters of my social studies altogether. joy! but the prelims are next week and tell me again how much load of work i still need to clear off my back.

whatever, i still feel that sense of accomplishment for concentration because even though i have shopping sprees, sentosa, outings- holidays all up there in my head, i still managed to survive the 4 hours of study. 4 hours of study for just 2 chapters is kinda dumb actually. waste my time leh.

and then again, life's being a bitch with me. nothing seem to ever satisfy me. i'm unhappy with almost everything and everything comes down to actually just ONE #$%^&*&^%$ matter. i pray everynight, but to no avail. many times people told me, God might just be around me, but i choose to close the doors on him. think again what you've promised. that you'll never ever disappoint me. don't ask me what you've done to make me feel this way. instead ask yourself what is it like to show care and concern for someone .you know it best. measure and compare the difference and you'll know why i feel so jaded.

i miss the times i was a little more carefree. i miss working at macs. i miss my december holidays where i get to splurge and going out for countless outings. i want o lvls to end quick, sadness, troubles, frustrations and stress to vanish instantly. :'(

and.. JOY! christina is going to watch no reservations with Xa tomorrow! so i need to mug well and hard tonight.

---but you always block me out, stop me from feeling you.----and i hate that.

2007-09-04T05:55:00.000-07:00

1. When was the last time you ran?
- yesterday? i had the catch the bus.

2. Do ur jeans have rips, tears &
holes in them?
- HAHA DISGUSTING. nope.

3. What book are u reading right now?
-NONE

4. Is ur lipgloss poppin?
-what's a poppin?

5. When was the last time u saw the
person you love?
- yesterday

7. Can you dance?
-CANT DO THAT FOR NUTS.

8. Do u get the full 8hrs of
sleep a night?
- depends, sometmes i get 9, 10, 11,12,13,14.........

11. Think of all your EX. Wld u
take any of dem bck?
- HEH, I HAVE SO SAY ON THIS.

12. If any1 came 2 ur house on
ur "lazy days" what wld u do?
-lie on the bed and pretend to sleep

14. Have u ever been on ur
school's track team?
-HAHA NOOO

15. Do u own a pair of Converse?
-yeap.

16. Who did u copy and paste this
survey from?
-sher.

17. Do u eat raw cookie dough?
- NOPE

18. Have u ever kicked a vending
machine?
-who haven't? HAHA

19. Do u hate it when the radio
ruins good songs by playing a bad one?
- i dont really listen to radios

21. Do u watch Trading Spouses?
-twice?

23. Have u ever stayed online for a
very long time waiting for someone?
- after every break up. HAHA SHH.

24. Are you cocky?
- up to you.

30. Cld you live w/o a computer?
- maybe?

45. Is any1 on ur bad side now?
-?
46. What jewelry are u wearing?
- NOPE

47. Whatz the 1st thing u do when
u get online?
- CHECK TO SEE WHO;S ONLINE

49. Do u watch Grey's Anatomy?
-nope

5O. How do most people spell your name?
-christina.

51. Would you wear your bf/gf clothes?
- whould i? lol why cannot meh?

56. What are u doin tomorrow?
- GOING TO SCH./

57. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the
next Michael Jackson?
- i dont think so? michael jackson has the most irritating dance moves that no one can beat.

60. Will u keep ur last name when
u get married?
- I DONT NKOW.

62. When is da last tym u left
ur house?
- YESTERDAY HAHA

67. Do u return ur cart?.
-i don't, but my mum do.

69. Do u have a dishwasher?
- like.. human dishwasher?

70. What noise do you hear?
- sounds of the tv

71. Would u survive in prison?
- i might commit suicide in there.

72. If all ur frens went on a road
trip wld u?
-duh duh duhhhhhhh

77. Do u know anyone with the same
name as u?
heard of, yes. know personally. no!

78. How many pairs of shoes do u own?
-5

80. Whats the last thing u ate?
-pearls.

84. What's ur middle name?
- witty

85. Where is ur cell phone?
- on my lap.

86. Is ur phone on vibrate or ring?
-vibrate

87. What brand are ur pants right
- HAHA I DONT KNOW,

88. Ever been to Georgia?
- the furthest i went was to thailand, you think?

91. What irritates u most on the
internet?
- nothing really.

92. Do u watch movies with ur
parents?
- ever, but not anymore.

93. What ur fav color(s)?
- black, white, orange, brown

94. Fav song?
- loads

95. What color is ur car?
- none

96. Wat song best describes ur life
right now?
- NONE

97. Where do u work?
- NONE

98. are u taking college classes
right now?
- no

99. What do u drink?
- alot of drinks

100. Whats ur kind of beer?
- i hate it.

101. Do u like sushi?
- LOVE IT LIKE DAMN BLOODY DAMN.

-i've got your smiles in my head, your smell on my clothes. -
i'm a happy girl.

2007-08-26T00:33:00.000-07:00

indecisiveness, mood swings and heart aches. please, i need something to change. :(

2007-08-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

when you hold on too tight, like sand, it goes all away.
when you don't hold on to it at all, you won't even receive it.

this is the point in time where i have neither clues nor ideas to stop myself from being engulved by the words like guns , let alone, truth. Lord, please tell me what to do now.

and here are the lyrics
I cry because I am unable to endure the loneliness
that's the only time you comfort me
I'm worried that a short bout of clear weather
can be claimed by dark clouds at any time
I wait for a chance to be at my worst and my best,
I'm hopeful yet exhausted
because I'm too scared of losing you,
even in my happiness I am full of sorrow

You hadn't realized, you always use your right hand to hold my hand,
but your heart beats on your left
The distance between us always cuts us off from intimacy,
the pity of inadequate love
I extend my right hand, wanting to walk ahead with you,
feeling the heart that loves me beating on your left side
I, who deeply loves you,
believe you will understand (You can definitely see it)

After regretting your indifference,
I always hurriedly apologize
You neglect me and then beg for sympathy,
making it seem as if I'm the one at fault
The conclusion may be the most beautiful or the most sorrowful,
I've prepared myself
You are too free,
maybe no one can re-enter your heart

I've always believed that one day
You will put your left hand in my hand and we will advance towards tomorrow
The future is far, but it will come true
If your heart is at the same side
then I will be able to hear you say "I love you"

zhong shi ren bu zhu ji mo diao xia yan lei
ni cai hui gei an wei
dan xin duan zhen de qing tian sui shi dou ke neng
bei yin mai shou hui
deng dai you ji hui zui huai ye zui tian mei
wo le guan que pi bei
ying wei tai pa shi qu ni suo yi lian kuai le li
dou zhuang man shang bei

ni bu ceng fa jue ni zhong shi yong zuo shou qian zhe wo
dan shi xin que tiao dong zai zuo bian
ni he wo zhi jian de yao yuan yong yuan ge zhe qing qie
ai shao de ke lian
sheng chu you shou xiang pei zhe ni xiang qian zou
gan shou ni ai wo de xin tiao zai zuo bian
na me shen shen ai ni de wo
xiang xin ni hui liao jie (ni yi ding kan de jian)

zhong zai man yuan guo ni de leng mo zhi hou
you ji zhe shuo bao qian
fang fu xiang shu yuan de ni qi qiu yi dian ti liang
dou shi wo bu dui
jie guo you ke neng zui mei ye zui ke bei
wo zuo hao le zhun bei
ye xu tai zi you de ni
xin li mian na ge jia shei ye bu neng hui

wo yi zhi xiang xin zhong you yi tian
ni hui yong zuo shou qian zhe wo zou xiang ming tian
wei lai hen yao yuan que hui shi xian
xin zai tong yi bian jiu neng gou ting jian
ni shuo de na ju wo ai ni

2007-08-21T07:06:00.000-07:00

after ever happy minute, comes the frustrating and sad ones.

call it dumb or whatever, truth hurts. yeap.

especially when i need you the most now.

2007-08-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

I DON'T FEEL SPECIAL. anymore.

2007-08-10T04:08:00.000-07:00

DEAR ALL, PLEASE NOTE THAT MY PHONE LINE HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY (maybe) CUT OFF BY THOSE TWO ONCE AGAIN.

i thought about it for about the millionth time now- i guess i may be adopted.
both my sibilings do not get the same treatment i am getting every now and then.
Or rather, the treatment i'm getting almost everyday now.
i thought i've heard before, my dad whispering to my mum "she may be different from her other siblings." and i thought the conclusion was that they'd be more patient with me.
Well, no. i've been about abused for the whole of my almost 17 years of living. how's that?
sometimes my mum says that she'll like to kill me.
sometimes my dad says that he'll love to bash me.
sometimes my parents says that they'll like to disown me.
and yesterday, my mum just told me that she'll use a pole to whack me till i'll have broken limbs.
So, now, is this what you call parents love and concern?
If my parents were a little more understanding, i wouldn't have to always lie.
If my parents treated me like how they treat my other siblings, i guess it wouldn't have been this way.
If my parents were better listeners, nothing more would have happened.

i dont love my parents anymore.

you could kill me, i wouldn't care at all. it hurts enough a great deal, inside.

another cartharsis.

2007-08-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

instead of feeling happy, i feel very sad.
instead of being smart, i'm a friggin` fucktard.
instead of giving my best, i put up my worst.
instead of being sure, now i'm confused.
instead of putting up my best front, i displayed the lousiest facade.
instead of being positive, i'm at my worst.
instead of appreciating, i'm comparing.
instead of feeling important, i feel insignificant.
instead of feeling appreciated, i feel taken for granted of.
instead of my smiles, frown.
instead of being a princess, now, dirt.
instead of being included, i feel excluded.
instead of living on this blue earth, i feel outside of it.
instead of anticipating, i feel jaded.

i'm at the lowest point in my life. i hate the freakin blue earth and everything that goes with it. But, afterall that has been said, i hate myself most and all the flaws following with. i've hung on too long and the wire's about to snap. i want to wait for something worth waiting for, anticipate for something worth anticipating for, i don't wanna be just another delusive buffoon. *HUGE SIGHS*

2007-08-03T05:33:00.000-07:00

this is my most anticipated blog post of the week- my mum's birthday :) on the 31st of JULY.
my very dearest mum, and my equally dearest dad brought the family to Fish and Co's "GLASS HOUSE" and i love the place and everything to it.

my sister and i ordered seafood platter for two. OH and of course passion fruit drink.
barely even eating half of the portion, my sister and i were already laying back our seats and rubbing our stomach filled with prawns, mussels, fish and squid. OHHHHH i love the food.

my dad, smartly ordered salmon salad. and from what i know, my dad DON'T eat salad. well, in the end, he gave away almost the whole plate of food to all of us. daddy, daddy~
my mum, got herself a SUPER HUGE i dont know what fish which was awesomely crispy and mouth watering.
my brother having only gone to Fish and Co for the second time now ordered Fish and Chips and he thinks that's the best dish of the house when he haven't ever tasted the rest.
MY SIS AND I, THE SMART ONES ate our fill with satisfaction.

expect that there's one thing that went wrong. that's the smelly mussels in the dish. BUT they got them replaced for us, and from a simple cook steamed mussels, they brought back for us mussels cooked in a different taste, as well as an addition of 2 more mussels. BUT still, i didn't really like the taste of them :/

after our fill, Fish and Co crews surprised my mum with a birthday cheer and my mum was made to stand on a chair, holding a sparkle and wearing a cute hat, together with a completely chocolately cake from my dad's colleague. We don't even know her tho`, i'm sure she don't even know my mum. but she was really generous.

my sister and i took loads of (retarded) multishots together. HAHA I LOVE MY SISTER LIKE HELL. but to keep our xing xiang, we quickly deleted them away xD

my sister used to say that i was always unglam. now i get the point. :D

i love my family (at times) my sis especially! and the both of us even switched dresses that day!

all of those wasn't the only thing that made me happy that day, but guess what? I FOUND MY DEAREST BRACELET! *thumbs up!*

=)))))

however now, i'm feeling really low. the past few days have been really upsetting for me. sometimes i feel so weak, i mean, i obviously am. but there's nothing i can do about it. maybe there's something i can do, but maybe slowly and gradually, so please, be patient with me.

you don't have to always feel hurt at every single thing, you dont have to cry when you feel like it, but maybe i just aint that strong. i cry at every little hurtful thing, and that's a flaw. i'm not very good in controlling my feelings and maybe that's a flaw as well. but there's one thing that i know, that's me, and i'm not perfect. infact, no one is perfect.

i just want you to love me for who i am, i don't want this to be another same mistake. we need to compromise, not only sometimes, but all the time. promises with each other, compromising with one another, letting out how you feel with each other, no matter how bad it will be, understanding one another, giving and taking, all these agreements we made, i want all these to continue, to continue a long way. Xa, i do appreciate the things you've done for me, incase you're in doubt but i want you to know, you're important to me, and i love certain things you did for me. thank you.

2007-07-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

first, i'd like to say, its 88 more days to the O lvls! the thought of poly life excites me a whole load, but i'm still not working hard for it. i need some motivation, but i really dont know what will be. :/ i think i need some help over here.

i have been sulking for almost the whole day now, i lost Xa's mummy bracelet. i really don't know where it went. it's just slipped off my wrist without my notice. :/ i miss it dearly.

I WANT MY BRACELET BACK. =(

baby, i miss you :(

friendship.

2007-07-23T05:04:00.000-07:00

as sharon shared her woes with me, i realised that it isn't that hard to keep a friendship. it's either you treasure it fully or you screw the shit out of it. being always the kind of "left out", "bullied" and not treated the same as the rest, i too, will feel the same way- hurt. being always having to cope with said person's constant bitch fits i.e- (really being childish, i feel) suddenly getting sick of the friendship and stop talking, waiting for sharon to start before she will, going out as a group of friends and excluding her, outcasting her for having a group of guy friends that said person hates. it's anal, obviously childish, no?

well let's see what happens next. said person decided to SUDDENLY disappear in to thin air, shy away from us, decided to avoid us and made us realise there was a problem by just deciding to sit somewhere else away from us. like WOW? and yada yada yada and friendship is broken.

well said person, if you think you're right, i think not. you got the wrong infomation, made the wrong move, you trusted the wrong people, hurt the wrong friend, scolded the wrong friend, got sick of the wrong friend. and everything that's taking place now, it's all because of you and your childish, bad attitude. if i'm wrong tell me. if i'm wrong, please tell me why so many people hate you. no, they don't hate you. but they hate your damned attitude.

sharon was constantly reminded to not have someone like you as a friend. but tell me why she could bear with all your annoyance and didn't stop loving you as a friend, tell me why she held on so tightly to the friendship, and tell me why she never blamed you. that's because you can't bloody see that she treasured the friendship so much. and you chose to let her down. i didn't see any flaw in her and i don't see a reason why you did. you know this better, who started these and why people hate you. continue doing this, and that's it with everyone for you. think again.

2007-07-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

after eons of finding time slots for transformers at the theatres, Xa and I STILL haven't got to watch the dumb show yet. either the timing wasn't right, or the right timeslot was full. maybe i'll only get to watch it when the dvd is out :/ .

and now, thanks to the o lvl's and to Xa's hectic fencing training schedule, our meet ups are limited to only once a week. thumbs down! i need o lvl's to pass quickly. and i need to pass it well. exams are around the corner and my bloody mind is still on holiday mode. what's more, the prep exams starts this week. can you say, wow?

i'm really anticipating the future. sounds extremely exciting. on another hand, i think i better not hope too much first. but Xa says, he will buy an estate near orchard in future. i want to share my life with him. XA, SEE THIS? yes, i really want to. i hope it never goes away.

2007-07-16T02:19:00.000-07:00

there's something that i am dying to overcome. it's kind of annoying how the stupid o lvls can worry me to death, but i just don't start studying. along with the constant sacarstic remarks which i'm so sure, actually, for the purpose of my well being the "mei, you're going to ite after sec 5 arh?" sentence, (either that, or i'm deluded that somehow my brother still cares for me.) i'm already half dead from worrying. still, that doesn't push me to study. i wonder what can.

baby, harry potter was great, suntec was magnificent, bowling was even better! i LOVE BOWLING NOW HAHA. thanks for everything! I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

especially for you.

2007-07-08T00:39:00.000-07:00

okay. i know this post is random. but i would like to bomb what i feel right now.

i would just like to say, XA, thanks for changing for me in a few ways. for "putting aside your temptations and setting your goals right" :P for trying not to be lazy and everything else.
thanks for putting up smiles on my face and making me happy. i hope this can continue a long way.

and as i'm typing this, sometimes i hope to feel more treasured. i love to be sweetalked to. and everything else that's nice. i want to melt your ice and break your hardness. I LOVE YOU.

(okay, those who can't bear with mushyness you can puke now =)

on a second thought.

2007-07-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

i've been and keeping my anal ways by thinking (alot lately) so hard about what someone had that i do not. on a second thought, i finally realised that comparing yourself with others is a childish thing to do. although it's inevitable that you may feel that it's really unfair at times, comparing THE PAST, its extremely stupid.

So now, i've made up my mind. no matter how, boy, you have already given me the basic necessities to a relationship- love, care and understanding. need i ask more? besides, what's there more to compare. i guess i'm contented enough like that. =)

2007-06-27T04:36:00.000-07:00

my cousin got married 3 days ago.

CONGRATS JIAYUN. =)

i'm not exactly close to her but i got invited to her wedding of course. haha

the start of the day was a disappointment as both my brother and sister fell sick after just coming back from philipines.

on the way to the wedding, my sister was as pale as a corpse so my dad decided to bring her back. So i had to go for my cousin's church wedding alone with my parents. my sister suspected having food poisoning vommited many times in that day and all of us and of course me, felt very down that she might not be able to go for the wedding.

if not, i wouldn't have someone to camwhore with me.

after the church wedding, my parents and i went home and were happy to hear that my sister felt better already. so the whole family set of with a growling stomach for the wedding dinner.

anyway, i really have to admit, i admire my cousin alot. she's beautiful, extremely smart and gentle. obviously, she has an extremely good personality.

Her husband, my cousin in law is more than fortunate to have her as a wife. i wonder in future, what kind of a wife will i be to my husband. i don't think i can be as smart as her, definitely not as pretty as her neither gentle nor have i a good personality. That's about everything crossed out from the list. Well, whatever that's going to be in the future, can be thought about next time.

There's still a long long way for me to walk.

ok, back to topic.
i went for my cousin's wedding dinner. the place was beautiful beyond description. the food was orgasmically delicious LOL.

i want my wedding dinner to be held there too! the place was accessible by a cable car ride straight to the restaurant. COOL EH? when all of us got seated in our own tables the curtains behind us automatically opened up and wad we saw was an extremely BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLL view right infront of me. i just couldnt believe my eyes.

and what was for dinner?

cold dish (pacific clams was one of the dish too)
seafood shark fin soup (scallops, prawns and other seafood not named here)
poached HUGE prawns
scallop and vegetable dish
abalone with shitake mushrooms and vegetables
grouper fish
yam cake (although i don't really fancy this dish)
ee fu noodles
chng teng

drooling now? of couse. i told you the food was orgasmically delicious. HAHA.

that was not the only thing. the toilet caught my eye at the very moment i stepped in.

obviously, my and my sister got down to business- camwhore. and i immediately feel so at home to that place- yes, the toilet. it looks much prettier than hotel rooms. AND GAWD. AGAIN, you can see the beautiful view from inside the toilet, although you can see the toilet from outside in too, but that didn't affect my love for it.

IT'S GORGOUS BEYOND WORDS.

i wanna go back there. maybe someday, sometime. =)

after all that's been said, the only one that really makes me happy
makes my heart thump fast
make me fall in love is my boy
i love my boyfriend =)

feeling blue.

2007-06-22T23:32:00.000-07:00

i expected someone to be there when all are against me, i expected the earth to revolve around me and make me feel happy. but i didn't expect, at anytime, my parents doing this to me, again. neither did i expect that it would affect us too. yea i agree that my boy's the unlucky one, but you know i can't do anything about it. i want you to know that i hope to feel a little secured, i hate to know you feel that way, that we're not meant to be everytime this happens. i want you to be there for me when my parents and everyone else are against me. no, i dont want you to stay and watch this pass by, but i want you to just pull this through with me.

i don't feel very good about this too. and i'm feeling twice as bad. with the relationship at one hand and my parents at the other, i just want you to be there. i hope you see what i'm going through now, it's extremely tough for me. =( i want you to stand by me, always and forever.

2007-06-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

My 1st Lady
Never Be Replaced

[Chorus]
Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you,
Yes i do.
Ill be with you aslong as you want me to,
Until the end of time.
From the day i met you i knew we'd be together.
And now i know i want to be with you forever, i want to marry you and i want to have
your kids.
Thinking can never compare to the feeling of your kisses.

I can say im truely happy till this day.
You make me thank god that i live my life every day.
Theres never been a doubt in my mind that id regret ever having you by my side.
But if the day comes that i have to let you go
I think theres something i should probably let you know,
Enjoyed everday that i spent with you and i will miss you cause im happy that i had
you at all.

[Chorus]
Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced

I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

2007-06-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

okay okay, since quite a handful of people didn't like the blogskin that i made (sulks) i've decided to change it! i think my blog's cute and pretty now xD

it's been 7 days since my brother and sister left for the philipines and because i'm smart, i found out that my dumb brother was the one who caused me into deep shit. and it breaks my heart. he promised to buy back some sweets from philipines to make it up to me. but even his packets of sweets won't be able to make up for the trust my parents lost for me, as well as the bruises (ok, not so bad. but i did get slapped) and how i'm jailed at home now. and i feel as if i'm an offspring of control freaks. every single thing i do and everywhere i go, i'm spied on and controlled as if i'm a toy car. an almost faulty toy car perhaps. i could just blow up any time at this rate my parents are going at. i can die any moment now. life's been hell, my house's been a jail. GAWD I HATE MY HOME

but my baby's been such a sunshine after my storms. he clears the dark clouds and paints a smile on face. that's one of the things i love about him. and incase you're in doubt, i really do trust you. <3

2007-06-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

i stepped into the budget airport and i felt that the name really suited it. a huge warehouse with only a Han's restaurant in it and that's all. and when i stepped in i wanted to laugh so loudly at how ridiculous it was to have a small room for a big word called "airport". but it's as if i can build a much better place. so i'd quit commenting.

talking about that, my dearest brother and sister left for the Philipines, Cebu for mission trip. the point now is that, with them gone, i have the whole room to myself, the whole big, quiet, dark empty, creepy room to myself. and now i'm just waiting for every minute to tick away quickly till it's daylight again. i'm all alone. i'd be all alone for 9 scary and lonely nights. i want someone to sing me a lullaby to sleep. i want someone to accompany me to sleep =( i want someone to put me to sleep. 9 lonely nights!

my BOY makes me happy
my BOY loves me
my BOY shows great care and concern for me :)
my BOY's presence makes me feel so secured
BOY i love you so.

passion, not

2007-06-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

i've somewhat lost my passion for guitar. everyone else is definitely better than me, and now, i'm not even qualified to play for sunday service. everytime i pick up the guitar, and never ever played it once, nicely, IT BLOODY DEMOTIVATES ME. stop thinking about buying a new guitar anymore. i've lost my passion for it.

2007-06-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

my feet and arms are achy and sore from all the window shopping! not exactly window shopping, we bought a few beautiful items for ourselves. ;)

the supposedly "tuition class" (although actually, there's no tuition this month) has been my relaxing period since last week. this is so fun! and i hope my mum never finds out.

i met up with muo gu and together we went to marina to ache our feets and tire ourselves out until laosai dearest met up with the both of us and from there, i started splurging. i hate it. to feel the weight of my wallet getting lighter and lighter until there's nothing left.

the meet up, more of cathing up with laosai was more than great. we talked and talked and never stop talking and i miss the good ol` times too!

hee. well, somethings were never meant to be but hope what's on our minds will come true one day...
DOUBLE DATESSSSSS TOGETHER AGAIN!

i LOVEEEEE SHOPPING! i'm gonna work and slurge and work and splurge! till my heart's content!

*yawn* i'm dead tired! GOODNIGHT!

wrought.

2007-06-03T06:02:00.000-07:00

reminisces makes me happy, reminisces makes me sad.
i couldn't help, but there's one thing that keeps running thru my head.

catharsis.

2007-06-01T02:28:00.000-07:00

i have always been thinking, why must i always have to be the less priviledged. sometimes it kills me to compare myself with some others. people gets loved a 100% and me, 90% odd extra less loved. people gets a huge pack of tasty sweets and i get just one or two tasteless sweets. people gets all the luxuries, all i get- hurt.

nevertheless, i never fail to keep standing up and retry, retry, and retry after each huge fall. however, with each try, it slowly tears down my confidence. confidence for whatever, i shall just keep it to myself.

i hope to be a little nasty sometimes, so maybe i'll be more treasured. because all human race loves to take things for granted. yes, that's what we are. sometimes, i just don't see the limit to my own patience. and thus, slowly fail myself.

BUT however good the situation may turn out to be, i'll still never fail to compare, leading to emotional influx- jealousy, hatred, anger, jadedness, depressions. i hate the stupidity, unfairness. i hate my incompetency. afterall, maybe i just ain't that forgiving.

i know you've been trying, and i'm really grateful for that. but i just want that 7/10 to be a perfect score. but that's just what I want. whatever it is, i don't have a say.

i don't need any repay. i dont need any make-ups, i just want a 10/10 to come natural. the possibilities? i really don't know.

that aside, good luck to all those fencing in msia!

-look at me, maybe you'll see the hollow insides. and you will understand why. no one else but you.

Forgery.

2007-05-30T00:57:00.000-07:00

you dont have to be an adult to be all grown up, i just ain't that matured. you dont really have to care because you feel like it, but that's just not me. you dont have to cry when you feel hurt, but i'm just not strong enough. i cant be a 100%.

i lay down on my bed and stared at the picture of me, and i wonder if it really was me. and then i thought about my world. it has a beautiful facade but contradictory in the inside sometimes. which concludes- i'm empty. everything seems forgery. i just want to rest my head on something real.

THE WORLD, MY SURROUNDINGS AND EVERYTHING THAT TRIES TO PLEASE ME SEEMS SO FANTASTIC. BUT I CANT SAY THE SAME FOR MY DAMN MOOD.

SCREW EVERYTHING ON THIS FRIGGIN PLANET.

--- sounds so beautiful, looks so convincing. but its only surreal. i know i'm that insignificant.

2007-05-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

I. AM. SICK. REALLY. SICK.
i'm still wondering if a dengue mosquito bit me. because 1) i HAD fever. (that doesn't mean it wont come back. and 2) i'm having diarrhoea, and i'm not sure if it's a syntom. 3) i think i'm having sorethroat now, although maybe it's because i tried grunting too much in class yesterday 4) i lost my appitite for food. 5) i feel quite queasy. and 6) i have a few bites at my back. of all places.

i'm GONNA SERIOUSLY HIT THE SACK. GOODNIGHT.

2007-05-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

the mid year exams are underway and it is no surprise that i dont come online to blog often. i mean, i do come online, but my fingers feel lazy all the time. (well, i shouldnt anyway. but hell, the computer's really tempting.) for today, it's special, since im waiting for a phone call now i shall keep myself awake! =)
Alot of things happened. both in reality, and inside of me. it's a bloody chaos.

somethings should be better left unsaid. that said, i really do hope you'd know how to think more for yourself.

it's no use saying that you're no good and never changed.

thank God for DD, for the smiles he never fail to bring me. =)) (dont be too honoured when you read this). he's my kai xin guo. ha

yes, like i said. midyears are underway. prelims next, then o's. i cant wait to get into poly even though im not a least bit sure if i can even get in one HAHA.

yes, midyears. and tomorrow's gonna be my math paper. NIGHTS.

2007-05-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

SCREW BLOGGER.

2007-04-23T01:24:00.000-07:00

1. Cellphone or Computer? cellphone! who in the right mind will bring a computer aroud?
2. Aircon or Fan? BOTH! at the same time!
3. Lesbians or Gays? straights.
4. Movies or VCDs? movies =)
5. Condominiums or Bungalows? both's as good i guess.
6. Mother Tongue or English Language? ENGLISH.
7. Ice Skating or Roller Skating? roller skating!!
8. Ocean or Sea? THE CLEAR BLUE BIG OCEAN. (although i haven really seen one)
9. Ring or Flowers from your guy/girls? its the heart that counts. i dont need material things.
10. If you HAD TO , would you take part in Singing or Acting? i'd insist not to
11. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? HARRY POTTER OF COURSE. HE'S MY FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH DAMIT. =)
12. Elder or Younger sibling? YOUNGERRRR!
13. Shopping or Relaxing? depends!
14. Monster or Devils? angels
15. Babies or Pets? both poop both are a hassle sometimes but both- my love =)
16. Brown or Grey? BROWN!
17. Truth or Dare? truth. i'd be too lazy to shift my butttt.
18. Carrots or Cucumber? what are you gonna use these for, first?
19. Apple or Pear? none.
20. MSN or texting? smsssmsmsmsmsmsmsmsmmsmms!
21. Studying at a University in Singapore or Further Studies Overseas? i'm going to study at a poly
22. JC, Poly, Secondary or Primary? secondary. GAWD.
23. Blueberry Jam or Peanut Butter? NUTELLA
24. Morning or Night? nights <3
25. Kisses or Hugs? i love hugs better =)
26. Family or Friends? FAMILY AAND FRIENDS.
27. Basketball or Netball? NO. WAY.
28. Outdoor or Indoor? indoor.
29. Math or Science? SCIENCEEEE WHO ON THE BLUE EARTH WOULD CHOOSE MATH.
30. Sandwiches or Cakes? sandcakes.
31. Pink or Purple? PURPLE
32. MP4 or iPod? MP4
33. Nokia or Samsung? sony erricson
34. Tuesdays or Thursdays? fridays.
35. Yahoo or Google? friendster.

LAST CIGARETTE: i dont smoke, i passive smoke alot.
LAST ALCOHOLIC DRINK: i hate the taste of alcohol
LAST CAR RIDE: bus rides, yes.
LAST KISS: NA
LAST GOOD CRY: i dont cry for any good reason for goodness sakes.
LAST BOOK BOUGHT: math tys.
LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRES: mr bean's holiday.
LAST MOVIE RENTED: devil wears prada. ok i know it's already passe.
LAST CUSS WORD UTTERED: erm "balls"?
LAST BEVERAGE CONSUMED: COKE.
LAST FOOD CONSUMED:rice
LAST PHONE CALL: janson
LAST TV SHOW WATCHED:i dont watch much tv.
LAST TIME SHOWERED: a few mins ago
LAST SHOES WORN: school shoes
LAST CD PLAYED: ? cant rmb
LAST ITEM BOUGHT: COKE!
LAST DOWNLOAD: i don't download.
LAST ANNOYANCE: with my brother. obvious much?
LAST DISAPPOINTMENT: in myself, you ass.
LAST SODA DRANK: COKE
LAST THING WRITTEN: a smile on kl's worksheet.
LAST KEY USED: i dont use keys
LAST SLEEP: Last night.
LAST ICE CREAM EATEN: mini magnum
LAST CHAIR SAT IN: im sitting on one now
LAST WEBPAGE VISITED: LEONGISH'S BLOG.

I LOVEEEEE QUIZES

the last- closure.

2007-04-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

the reminisces made me smile, made me laugh to myself, even when im out alone sometimes, and worst of all made me cry. i appreciate all the times i spent with you, and memories will always remain deep rooted in my head. i often look out of the window.i would think about what you might be doing at times, yes, i do miss you.

but "it's a sooner or later thing" we both said, we already knew.

if i knew this would have happened, i just wished i never possessed you, i wish i never was yours and you were never mine. so then, the memories would not have bugged me till date. the memories with you, feels so close to me, yet, it seems as if it's colours are fading quite rapidly. but as the wake up call rings up there in my head,
the both of us, you, especially, have already stood up to walk opposite paths. i would stop dreaming.

"someday" you tell me, might come. but how high is the possibility now? i would ask you. i guess it's ziltch. i see your smiles, i see your heart pump fast, not at the sight of me, but with that eyes you once stare fondly at me, and your heart that once was filled with love for me, now belongs to someone else.
i dont wanna chase anymore rainbows.

since this already was and is already non-existant, i close with much anticipation but feeling much happier as i do it.

i know it's better this way.

after all the rubbish that i said, i would say, i feel much happier. i feel carefree, i feel as if im already okay.

again, i still wanna thank you, for all the memories you shared with me. and you've made quite a big difference in my life.

i'd always remember you, with your smiles. as well as the smiles you brought me.

2007-04-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

reminiscing my earlier past made me smile. times when we felt lovesick, through ups and downs, happy and sad moments- my past. i looked back at the times and it made me laugh until i had cramps in my stomach. :S i was looking through my old blog as well as xavier's old blogs. makes me feel how we were so young and stupid, extremely stupid. LOL posts after posts i read, but i couldn't find a single thing that made sense in them.

Friday, December 10, 2004

i back to torturing camber coz cant talk for another 3 days

back frm camp juz yesterday.. and i felt so happy i got to talk to him yesterday and called him today but for the rest of the 3 "years" (days) i wont be able to talk to until his bro goes out... but anyway.. juz like wad i wished for... everything went back to normal... but i'll get to love sick for this 3 days... haiz~~~
tiLl dEaTh dO uS pArT..:X--6:28 PM--

YES. this was one of the posts from my blog. GAWDDD.LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Xavier, you're a loser.

but, as i compared the stupidity, i guess i was a greater loser. HAHAHAHA

ok cheap thrill.

-as days passed us by, i see my picture fading with your memories, as i see yours, fading as it becomes clearer at the same time. it'll soon be months, years after year. till we meet again, not as lovers but as friends. rf/y.

-

2007-04-09T04:24:00.000-07:00

the worst you could ever go through in school is to really try hard to keep yourself awake, but somtimes, inevitably, you'll see seconds later, only to find yourself drifting away to dreamland. that was exactly what happened to me earlier in school. however, that's not the point. the whole point is that, after i drifted away to dreamland, my physics teacher woke me awhile later saying that my eyes were what seemed like "A DRUG ADDICT'S." GAWD. I HATE MY EYE BAGS. ANYONE WITH A CURE TO IT?
at nights i lay in bed, shut my eyes forcing myself asleep, all i get, an uneased mind.

ai hui yong yuan yong yuan-ni shuo de, li kai wo de shi hou, ni que mei she bu de.

...

2007-04-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

i stepped out of my house today. the air was fresh and everything looks like they're falling into their own damn places. i cant say the same for the lousy feel im feeling. FEWJRGWJGKNGVLKEWNGHIRNGLSNEGLKSNKL ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

if anyone were to just help me out, i'd be of great thanks.

wo xiang wo hui kai shi xiang nian ni

2007-04-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

once again, like any other day i stepped into sentosa, my face is hot with pain. *oww* soon, i'd turn black in stead of being red. HAHA thanks to the sun, and expecially thanks to gab who made the sand look so comfortable to sleep IN. and on. oh and yes, thanks to the volleyball my arms are feeling as sore. great day but Darius pangseh-ed us anyway. aww.
lets get to food republic again =) and darius, you owe us one anyway! =))

random.

2007-04-05T02:22:00.000-07:00

it's been exactly a month and a day since the both of us seperated and stayed out of each other's business. it kinda amazes me how we could be so close in the past and now, being total strangers just feels a little odd to live with. it feels a little unreal, but well, reality check please! i do wonder at times what you might be doing and stuffs like that. but for that, i shouldnt bother much either.

SENTOSA TOMORROW? YES I CAN HARDLY WAIT! =)) update soon!

breathless.

2007-04-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

i've been having 2 days of break from school and it kinda makes me happy, actually. =) 2 days of being books free is enough to kill away the bateria that creates the aching feeling inside me that has been bugging me ever since. back to being me, seriously never felt better. not because i've gotten over YOU, but because i've already stoped hoping YOU would. and i will not care anymore.
however, being free from books dont actually mean i had my fun. it only means that i'm free from books JUST BECAUSE of the fencing competition, which is honestly, quite a waste of time- for me. but i enjoyed my stay doubly =)
you'd see all the different people with the different screwed up faces on the fencing piste, but when you see christina, it's a total opposite. why so? cause fencing's just a game you dont actually have to be really serious about. and what now? cause of the filty mask, IM HAVING RASH ON MY FACE. how nice. because of stupid fencers, im having bruises on my tighs. because of the unimaginably heavy fencing bag, im going to suffer pain on my shoulders for days. because of fencing! i nearly died from suffocation. >=( NOT GOING TO FENCE ANYMORE. ANYMORE! but! because of fencing competition, i've never felt better =))

you're always the one putting the smiles up on my face =)

2007-03-23T22:10:00.001-07:00

i dont care anymore.

2007-03-20T01:52:00.000-07:00

it's the same routine- waking up feeling shi-ty, going to school, coming home doing junkloads of homework and back to sleep, only to find myself finally asking "what the hell am i living for, actually?" life's no fun. it's all pain in there-yes, the taste of life.

but christina, stop being a fool anymore, you've done enough.
and i know that its me, not you.

untitled.

2007-03-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

after so long, i'm back- going on meaninglessly long bus rides, waiting for something that's not going to happen, making wild guesses, to either hurt the inside or to delude myself for abit. checking my phone every now and then, only to find everything in this stupid life the same. cause why? life's a joke. that's why im playing along. the conclusion? life's too short for you to care.

someone once told me.

2007-03-15T00:30:00.001-07:00

someone once told me, that "if we're meant to be, what ever happens, we'll still be meant for each other". its kind of amazing how we live so close but our paths dont meet. love: never once was fate, its all in the inside.sometimes, i wish i could read you, then i'll know if you still care.

emotional wrought

2007-03-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

12 nights and counting. i hope to stop from thinking, i shut my eyes, but my mind- go running wild. i wanna stop denying myself of reality- it couldnt have fade this quickly, it should not have, it wont.
its not easy, its not, EFFING easy at all. i wanna walk away, i wanna stop my eyes from clinging on to your shadows. but all the past both happy and chaotic moments together is eating me in, i cant stop myself from thinking. i dont wanna do anymore reminiscence. but i still hope you'd think of me.

2007-03-13T04:20:00.000-07:00

baby, if only i could brainwash you to forget what i said.
baby, if only i could sew up my mouth to stop talking rubbish
baby, if only i could turn back time i wouldnt be such a fool
baby, if only we were so close i wouldnt have doubted you
baby if only i didnt hurt you
baby i know its hard
baby i know it'll never be the same
but baby if i told you my actions will speak louder than those hurtful words, would you just come home?
baby if only i died tmr, would you visit me in my grave? cause baby i miss you so.

2007-03-12T06:54:00.000-07:00

-maybe only after i dont exist anymore, you'd start caring for me. and if i died, only would you realise my tears.-

baby, im so confused. "it may, but not anytime soon" is not getting me nowhere. if i had the choice now, i wouldn't be such a fool.

of all choice of words, i had to pick the wrong one
of all people i wanted to tell things to, i screwed.
of all things, i had to do something stupid
of all choices, i had to choose the wrong ones
of all people, i had to be the one
of all ways, you had to choose the hard way
of all times, why do i lose you now?
of all kinds of feelings, why am i feeling so shity?

2007-03-09T00:11:00.000-08:00

back from the million years long hiatus. =)

anyway, i guess kids shouldn't watch anymore cartoons. the media should just stop screening it or we'll endanger more lives.
yesterday, cause obviously, this moron, was grounded. and so smart, this guy, from the third story of the flat, tied blankets after blankets till it touched the ground and intended to slide down the blankets but he fell and broke his legs, arms or maybe all his joints la. he thinks he's spider man or ruppenzel(the girl with the disgustingly long hair wanting her prince to climb on her hair to her in the trapped tower) or something. gawd. i guess the police were laughing their nose off or something.
maybe its going be in the headlines soon, cause seriously, i've never seen anyone so dumb. "headlines: boy, 15, ruppenzel-ed to his death" gawd, he could have just washed his brains with detergent and start doing more maths.

but whatever, its just earth to jadedmoomoo! =)

and leongish, dont try to advertise your boy in my blog again. lol
V
V
V
V

I LOVE PEARLYN SO MUCH

2007-03-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

tweets!i love PEARLYN so much
anyhows,i'll always be right there for you
ring me up or msg me!
whether you're sick,down,yadayada.
i'll talk to you babe!
cause im such a nice friend.duh!

oh oh oh, gabriel's hotness.
and please dont miss me cause im not going to church 2mrw.
you'll still get to see me on sunday you stupid girl!
I LOVE YOU much much.
toodles!and don't miss me.
FANTABULOUS PEARLYN <3

2007-03-08T02:55:00.000-08:00

you wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go? =(

2007-03-06T00:32:00.000-08:00

again and again. it rips you apart.

2007-02-21T02:58:00.000-08:00

it tears you up inside.

late nights, early mornings.

2006-11-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

im extremely, mega-ly burned out. days and days of late nights and early mornings with school and work the next day, i can almost die. but i dont mind my late nights =) infact, im lovin it! :D
heh heh, also, days and days of working at macs and i have yet to find it boring! im still enjoying it! especially when i get to do counter (even though i might screw up at it at times xD) its fun! :D and also, im lovin it! haha!
and starting to sleep in class more often than before! i almost died keeping myself awake when mr yeo was teaching!
I NEED A BREAK =) LIKE SERIOUSLY!
good night!

-im really happy i met you =)-

days and days of feeling this!

2006-11-03T21:55:00.000-08:00

im glad to say, i started work at macs yesterday. HAHA and its extremely fun! although six hours of standing but haha this time, time seems to pass so, so quickly! when i feel warm, i can always go to the refregerator to cool myself then come out HAHAHA! so cool! and the first time i went in the refrigerator to get the food, i thought i got myself stucked in there. and then i started thinking of the show rob-b-hood. (jackie chan and the other guy almost froze to death) haha i got shocked until i nearly cried. but when i used force to open the door, phew, i managed to get out HAHA. its fun!!! yay!
days and days of feeling this and haha, i really really wanna see you again. :)
sigh i wanna go out! lao sai, please date me :P and leongish too!
-rf/y

YAY!

2006-11-02T07:12:00.000-08:00

IN THE PAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU :
o1 . Cried : how can i be crying when im this happy?? :D
02.Worn jeans : yeap! just this afternoon!
03.Met someone : MACdonalds manager!
o4 . Done laundry : on my personal stuffs
o5 . Went hungry : no, i was too happy i couldnt eat, ask sharon! hahahaha!
o6 .Talked on the phone :LEONGISH, LAO SAI!!, janson aka constipation aka roly poly
o7 . Said I love you : 24 hours? nope!
o8 . Do u believe in yourself : no i have uber low self esteem
o9 . Your friends : my friends? rawk my world!
1o . Tooth fairy : i haven seen one.
11 . Destiny / Fate : sincerety
12 . Ghosts: NOOOO
13 . UFO :i have nv seen one.

FRIENDS AND LIFE :

14 . Do you ever wished you had another name: nope, although i dont really fancy my name.
15 . Do you like anyone: recently. like really really. :) i've nv felt this way in a million years.
16 . Which one of your friends acts most like you: haha none!
17 . When you cried the most who was there: farah, pearlyn, my pillow.
18 . What's the best feeling in the world: to love and be loved.
19 . What's the worst feeling in the world: haha now is not the time to talk about this.
2o . What time is it now: 11:53 pm

WHICH IS BETTER:

21 . Chocolate or vanilla : chocolate!!
22 . Coke or pepsi : coke! obvious much!? hehe
23 . Love or Lust : love.

YOUR PICK:

24 . Mac or KFC : both! haha although mac's my company!
25 . Single or group dates : depends!!! :D
26 . Adidas or nike : adidas
27 . Lipton Tea or Nestea : i dont really like tea. but bubble tea is an exception :P
28 . Cappucino or coffee : nope nope!
29 . DO YOU Smoke : passive smoke
30. Curse : haha who dont xD
31 . Take a shower : like everyday?
32 . Have a crush : not a crush :)
33 . Think you've been in love : never was.
34 . Like school : definitely not.
35 . Want to get married : LETS get married :)
36 . Think you're a health freak : NO!

IN THE PAST MONTH:

37 . Drank alcohol : nope.
38 . Gone to the mall : haha duh!
39 . Been on stage : haha yea. guitar! heh.
40 . Eaten sushi : hmmm. i think no?
41 . Been dumped : NO
42 . Gone skating : NO
43 . Dyed your hair : NO
44 . CHANGED who u want to be? : changed? im not sure haha
45 . I LOVE : being happy just like that!
46 . I FEEL : SO HAPPY!
47 . I HIDE : my feelings.
48 . I MISS : YOU.
49 . I NEED : YOU.

Seven people you would like them to do :
1. up
2. to
3. you!
4. im
5. not
6. gonna
7. force! :D

PLEASE GET WELL SOON LAO SAI.

2006-11-02T06:52:00.000-08:00

hmmm. yeap, macdonalds uncle called me down to pass up all the documents. so yeap, i'll start work tomorrow. what's more? at the airport! what can be better than working alone in such a nice place like, finally? hehe. yeap i wanna work alone! all by myself! :) cause i know im independant :P hehehehehe. mac christina will start work tml. sigh, wonder if its tiring. haha, but at least not as dull as factory work. :)
i had much much fun yesterday! :) was supposingly a "gals-day-out" with farah. but some guys came along too, wasnt bad at all, they're all nice, funny ppl haha! but in the near end, farah had to go for her piano lessons. poor gal, sick but still so hardworking. i wanted to wait for her. but i didnt know where and how. so... i went with the rest to drink.. almond susu? HAHA! it's farah's recommendation!!! :) and it tasted really nice hehe. went home feeling so so contented :) a nice day out in like many months now? haha!
DEAR LAO SAI, PLEASE GET WELL SOON!!!! MUACKZ! :D i wanna go out with you more often!!!! even though i may be working :P i can always take off! date me yea!?
im feeling really happy! i dont know why! :) im just lovin it :D
-rf/y

realities.

2006-10-30T23:38:00.000-08:00

have you ever really wondered what life is about and what's it's meaning to each individual?
i finally have. life's all about facing the harsh and unharsh realities of life. harsh realities are inevitable and dont ask why this and that happened. dont ask why life's so sad. dont ask why he/she is unfair or why life's so unfair. there's no answer to life cause apparently, life's unpredictable. that's the ridiculous-ness of life. but let's face it. on the other hand, the small parts of the beautiful moments in life are just some incentives to kinda like boost your self-esteem. which comes in few. so, if you are blessed, you really will be, a hundred folds more.
as for me, i've already told you have i am jinxed so, yeah, you know what's its like to be me.
i really need to see more to life.
anyway, i've went for typhiod jab and my arms feels like it being punched really cruely. so, YOU BETTER HIRE ME cause i've already gone for my jab like you asked me too! if not, i'll poke your eyeballs. =)
im dead tired. good night