CHANRFC

Monday, October 30, 2006

have you ever really wondered what life is about and what's it's meaning to each individual?
i finally have. life's all about facing the harsh and unharsh realities of life. harsh realities are inevitable and dont ask why this and that happened. dont ask why life's so sad. dont ask why he/she is unfair or why life's so unfair. there's no answer to life cause apparently, life's unpredictable. that's the ridiculous-ness of life. but let's face it. on the other hand, the small parts of the beautiful moments in life are just some incentives to kinda like boost your self-esteem. which comes in few. so, if you are blessed, you really will be, a hundred folds more.
as for me, i've already told you have i am jinxed so, yeah, you know what's its like to be me.
i really need to see more to life.
anyway, i've went for typhiod jab and my arms feels like it being punched really cruely. so, YOU BETTER HIRE ME cause i've already gone for my jab like you asked me too! if not, i'll poke your eyeballs. =)
im dead tired. good night

11:38 PM :D

#1 single, taken or crushing? single, unavailable, uncrushing.
#2 Are you happy with your life? i.am.not.
#3 When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast? right person? when i think that person is right i think i will definitly fall in love (oh is that to honest to be true?)
#4 Have you ever had your heart broken? i dont like this question
#5 Do you believe that there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable? cheating and love dont come together.
#6 Would you take someone back if he/she cheated on you? dont joke.
#7 Have you talk about marriage with another before? i have. screwed up wasnt it?
#8 Do you want children? i'll tell you the day i get married
#9 How many? i'll tell you the day i get married
#10 Would you consider adoption? that's if im bearen
#11 If someone likes you now, what do you think is the best way to let you know his/her feelings? depends on the person. if not, i dont wanna know HAHA. :P
#12 Do you get into a relationship? uhhuh.
#13 Be honest, what is the furthest you and your ex did before? give you a good kick in your balls.
#14 Do you believe in first love? not anymore.
#15 Do you believe you can change someone? not anymore
#16 Are you romantic? how am i supposed to know? haha
#17 If you get married anywhere, where would it be? i'll tell you when my future bf proposes to me.
#18 Do you easily give in fighting? the only person i have always fought with is my bro. so, giving in is the best solution to save my life.
#19 Have you wished that you could have someone, but messed it up? it got messed up by itself.
#20 Do you have feelings for someone right now? haha, i dont know
#21 Have you ever broken a heart? i dont know.
#22 If one day, your best friend falls in love with the guy/girl whom you are deeply in love with, what will you do? when that happens then i'll tell you how i feel.
#23 Are you missing someone right now? hell yes. wtf.
#Now, you have to ask five of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.
CARINA
ORANGE
CELINE
FARAH
SHERRYN

9:09 AM :D

Sunday, October 29, 2006

and finally, i managed to earn some money. i'll be getting my pay next week and i can hardly wait. my FIRST ever pay from my FIRST ever job! HAHA. apparently, im still underage and making money for the first time ever is really pleasant. HAHA! hell no, not the feeling of working. but the accomplishment you make after that! OH YAY~ OH YAY~ OH YAY~ Ibanez is on its way :) HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
i searched high and low for answers. and now, i've finally found them. =)
oops! got homework to rush! be back soon!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GERALD!!!

5:40 AM :D

Friday, October 27, 2006

today was my last day at work at the factory! looks like days past really quickly! feeling happy but sad at the same time. happy to leave that torturing chamber but sad cause i had to leave the friends i made in the process of working there. :) they were nice people. and i had all the fun getting around with them! anyhow, the job was really mundane. so i really had to quit. if i really had to stay there my whole life, i might as well get myself killed HAHA.
anyway, my friends left that place too. only that they're working 2 more days to get more money. and the difference is, i think i already have secured another job and they have not! HAHAHAH! okok, i deserve a good hit on the head.
anyway anyway, im happy to announce, tml's my couzzie's wedding and... i will be HAPPILY GORGING THE HUGE HUGE HUGE FEAST PLACED ON THE TABLE TOPS HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA YAY I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!
u wish you hadnt known me like how i wish i hadnt known you, but a thousand times more.

9:31 AM :D

Thursday, October 26, 2006

HAHA! you guessed it, hell, im sick again! zhi asked me "why you so weak der." nono, im not weak, im just.. not as strong. :) but just, too weak to start this kinda life! work work work, nothing but work and school! but, for the sake of persuing my passion! i will need to work hard! anyway, i've quitted the factory job! tml will be my last day!! and job hop to SOMEWHERE (leongish, quit asking me! i won tell! :P). although it offers a lower pay but.... i hope it wont be as tiring and boring! :)
stop those tormenting haunts

5:01 AM :D

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

working in a factory for days and days? that's not life. after only EIGHT DAYS of working in ficher-tech, i realised i would rather kill myself than to spend a life-time there. sitting on chairs, getting scolded for using the handphone, scraping plastics and slowly find your eye lids close by 1cm every second, i tell you, it was hell in that place. also, i was nicknamed "plastic scraper" by some irritating individuals recently. heh.
so, after long thought, consideration and the source of irritation(khang leng) i decided to jop hop. to somewhere i think, will give me a lighter "sentence". i hope i can cope tho`. im not falling sick again, IM STRONG! strong enough to carry a boulder :) (i just hate lying to myself)
anyway, gotta rush to interviews again! c ya soon!

-kill the stormy nights, walk into the light. i'll learn how to soar from the 100th floor. and if i fall will you care?-

1:32 AM :D

Sunday, October 22, 2006

first and foremost, i lost my ic, next, i lost my ez-link card, last but the very worst, i lost my wallets (with alot of sentimental items in it) for example, one of the very most important sentosa ticket with GEL *blink blink* all of my neoprints with fellow minions, some receipts from being a first-timer at some restaurant and a few other stuffs. slowly and freely, all my items go as they please, one by one. money is no issue for replacing my ic and ez-link cause it doesnt hurt my savings one bit HAHAHA. my mum's clearing it, although she's very much hesitating to. but yeap, no choice! yay! sorry mum!
dreaded to say, sentimental values cant be replaced. :( that's what's troubling me most! all i am dying to say is, i miss my wallet!!
no matter where im going, walking left or right hanging up-side down or down-side up i realised that im already hit hard with an aura of suayness. that's the reason why, I NEED TO SEE A BRIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE. yes, i really need to.
------- :)

6:12 AM :D

Friday, October 13, 2006

well, how was my first day at work?? dont even talk about it. smash that dream of working near esplanade or sentosa christina. just smash it. well, apprently, im currently working at some FACTORY (dont laugh. its not funny) and what is my main assigned job? - scraping off excess plastics from the products. basically, you can see every one there doing the same thing. and what we earn is only pity money. time seems to pass ridiculously slow and the number of plastics you had to kill, rediculously comes in large numbers- of 1360 each pack. we were given 4 packs of them. working is never enough. once each pack is done with. you can convieniently get fresh, new packs from the supervisor, of plastics to scrape. wearing what seem like condoms on your fingers demoralises you even further (it actually is some finger gloves. but it SERIOUSLY comes out really well, like THEM.) ok, this is my first day at work. thinking there is gonna be many many more days ahead.. it makes me... dont wanna think about it. working 8 hours is no joke. i........seriously...... am......... quite....... dead
not only that, remembering that i lost my ic makes me feel even worst. did i lose it at home or anywhere else outside? ahhhhhh! my mum even calmly told me to slowly find it. yeah. slowly find it till i land in jail (that's if someone makes use of my ic lah) ok. God bless.
anyway anyway at least i have a breakaway from working tml and on sunday. OH THANK GOODNESS! :) i am seriously, dead TIRED! goodnight!
-sitting here and thinking of you, it makes my heart bleed-

10:47 AM :D

Monday, October 09, 2006

the haze has, once again re-appear in singapore, trying to catch its attention. and obviously, suffocation is guaranteed. if haze was throughout the year, i think the world population could have decreased drastically. its also so coincidental how the wind direction could have changed to create the entrance for haze to singapore. well, i mean the world is never fair in the first place. haha
i've been searching high and low and now, i've discovered whats a real fool. contextually, a fool basically means "a silly or a stupid person" for me, a fool means someone who is extremely delusive to his/her surroundings. i was once, like that. no doubt that i might still be. but, looking at you, i think, you are the silliest person i've ever seen. it's finally, time to wake up to the harsh realities of life dont you think? whatever it is, it just makes you... so not you. its time for a knock-knock and a wakeup call.
well, exams are officially over. im jumping for joy but my heart is'nt. im worried about this and that and it just spoils the holiday mood. what are my N lvl results going to be? am i going to get that job? and few other random thoughts. quick quick results come to me!
and playing maple has recently became so mundane. so.. boring. and it has been the only thing i have been doing since.. forever? then tell me, what should i do next.
-if.. i could catch the stars and keep them in my pocket.. if.. the moon would be the only thing to smile just for me.. if.. there was more to life.. if.. i could read your mind.. if.. we were meant to be.. it all starts with a if.. i could have been a much happier person-

9:32 PM :D

Thursday, October 05, 2006

ok, that's it. im gonna do this once and for all and then sit at home and shake legs and wait for my results to take me. today will be the second last paper. woot. DNT will be next week and dnt might be the only subject that'll help to pull up my grades. christina, better buck up. :) i think all the sums in my head are driving me loo loo. and yeap. make the best for the last of it! AHH. okok, good luck for youre math paper today my MINIONS!
and zhi has found for me a what you call "lobang" for a job. so, if im lucky enough, i wont be working at macdonals afterall! pweetie pweetie pwease!! i wanna be lucky enough!! :) AHHH! can hardly wait! my mum's being annoying once again. HAHA. she said that i am not allowed to work during the times of my bridging course (some programme in our school to "help us get prepared for sec 5 next year" yes, you know its a waste of time). however, im sorry mum! xD i need the money. since you dont wanna sponsor me for my cutiepie Ibanez. don care anymore!!!! :P HAHAHAHHAHA
-looking in your eyes i see a paradise-

6:58 PM :D

its been rather extreme for me these few days. i have been studying studying and studying. and hearing that i will be getting back my results only on dec 19, at that very moment, i thought i could almost kill myself. its really really such a long wait. and i swear i wont be enjoying my hols after all. again, hearing from my sister that, even if you get 75 marks or above, if the standard is higher, you might not even be able to get an A1. ok, i think that's really unfair. (how am i supposed to pass if the rule is just the way it is!! ) im really, really, really. STRESSED. im having the same feeling i was having when i took my PSLE. i just feel that everything seems like cartoon to me now? (erm i dont know how to explain it) heh. no joke. and this is, seriously driving me crazy. it really is. i've got this bad feeling that im not getting promoted. and my feelings are always true. erm, i mean, most of the times. OH MY TIAN. ahh! i dont wanna think anymore!
ok, but at least there's one load off my back. im so relieved that i am definitely going to get a job during the hols! yes and im going work with annie! its been such a long time! take note: christina is 15 BUT!.... BUT BUT!! she is able to find a job! at Ronald's macdonals. well, its good enough. at least i wont have to stay at home and rot and think about my N lvl results. id be dead within 24 hours if that happens.
okok i think its time. i'd better be back to books! tata
-my every heartbeat speaks your presence my every breath speaks your name-

4:21 AM :D

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

geog paper was such a continuous phew-ing in action for me. it was'nt as difficult as i expected it to be. since the rest of the papers were quite challenging. not forgetting, the math paper i took today, i made like thousands of mistakes. which i had realised after i took the paper. which means byebye christina, you're going to ite. BAHH!!
ok, YOU yes YOU! YOU are driving me nuts. stop being such a TURN off. "how is maths?" "insulting?" hey, if the math paper is insulting YOUR intelligence, i think talking to you, it seriously insults my intelligence a greater deal. "of course im right" "i can never be wrong" express drop to normal acadamic, it proves that pure normal acadamic students are much smarter than you. if you can never be wrong, why drop to normal then!? the more it makes me wanna throw faeces right at your face. SO, APPARENTLY, THERE'S NOTHING IN YOU THAT YOU CAN SHOW OFF ABOUT. so seriously, JUST QUIT OK?
its really so pang sai-ish how you always have to meet people like this. sometimes, i'd rather kill myself than to talk to ppl like that. it just makes me burst into flames. annoyace level is at its peak. what did i say? im always the one getting all the shits to life. yes, im always the one.
anyhow, i'd better get back to books. so tata! (woohoo! the hols mood is getting into me!i can hardly wait!)
-into the sunset of your glory, where my heart lies there's nothing like that feeling when i look into your eyes and my every heartbeat speaks your name-

1:42 AM :D

Monday, October 02, 2006

shit. english paper was a killer. who says N lvl is easy. AHH its not at all!!! ENGLISH. my only hope. if i fail this, i might as well go bury myself in plies of faeces. WHAT ON EARTH IS BOMBSHELL THEN?? bombshell? bombshell? bomshell? WHAT IN THE UNIVERSE IS THIS?! AHHH crap crap crap. it's real difinition is "One that is sensationally shocking, surprising, or amazing" i wrote overwhelming.(do i even know the definite meaning of this word in the first place) overwhelming? "Overpowering in effect or strength: overwhelming joy" overwhelming is'nt an adjective after all???? AHHHH!?!?!. oh crap. yes crap. well, im prepared for the worst! ><
studying have been so difficult and so stressful, i almost died from it. have you ever cried like crazy while trying hard to study? i guess not. but well, studying alone drove me insane, and now its driving me to my grave. each exam paper is a mile nearer to put myself in that coffin. THAT'S IT. i picture the day when i will be getting back my N lvl results "Christina, dont worry this is not the end of the world. try harder next time" is what the teacher will say to me. OK CHRISTINA, PLEASE STOP.
anyway, internal conflicts amongst friends do happen sometimes. and the fact is, sometimes, you get sick and tired of your friends. mostly, irritating individuals. i mean, the irritating ones. people who get so sucked up to you and act so angelic but behind you, he's another story. people who trys to act like some hooligan which actually turns out to be a barbarian. trying to look cool but the words are already written on his face "Cant Make It" giving the pissed off face when there's nothing, really to be pissed about. "oh, im going to put tatoo here and there im going to piece my ear im going to dye my hair, sio hun! sio hun!(smoke)go slack go slack!! lets go drink beer!" scolding bad words and thinking its cool. giving stupid baby whiny attitude and pulling a long face keeping quiet TRYING real hard to get attention. trying to change his attitude into what's not him, thinking its cool. self praising and being such a horny bastard and he thinks its just the way of being cool. walking in a way like his dad owns the road. hello? earth to whoever you are? know what i call this kind of attitidue? it seriously is plain childishness. yuck? stop whatever you're doing? it doesnt work that way eh? you're making a fool out of yourself. and seriously, CHOKE AND DIE, SCRAM AND GET LOST. do what ever you want with your life.
anyway scratch that. lemme say, lets stop for the day before i blow :) what a disastrous day!!
-its always times like this when i think of you and i wonder if you ever think of me-

2:20 PM :D